Canadian Olympic Swimmer Who Flips Off His Dad Before Every Race Should Be Deported. Immediately
CBC – Just to be clear, Canadian swimmer Santo Condorelli isn’t giving you the finger from the start blocks. He’s giving it to his father.
An eight-year-old Santo was frustrated racing against, and getting beat by, older swimmers. So his father and coach Joseph Condorelli came up with the idea for the son to flip dad the bird before each race.
“[He said] ‘You’ve got to build your confidence yourself and say eff everybody else that you’re racing,” Santo explains. “He said ‘Every time you’re behind the blocks, give me the finger and I’ll give it back to you.”‘ It’s a pre-race ritual that has received more attention during Santo’s ascension to Canada’s Olympic swim team.
Now I’m not a Canadian so I don’t know if I have the right to claim who should and who shouldn’t get deported. However, I have worn denim on denim a few times so I think that qualifies me enough at least to have a say. And with that, Santo Condorelli is a threat and a menace to Canadian society. He must be locked up and we need to bury the key with Rob Ford. JUST THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN. What will they say?!?
If there’s one thing that Canadians are known for, it’s their over-politeness. Hell, you could kick their ass and they’d apologize to you for their face getting in the way of your fist. It’s sweet, it’s endearing, it gives you a little bit of hope that this world isn’t just one big rock filled with disgustingly horrible people. But now we have a Philly fan dressed as a Canadian Olympic swimmer out there besmirching the good name of Canadian hospitality. And we simply cannot just idly stand by here and let it happen. Next thing you know instead of drinking a gallon of maple syrup on a Friday night for fun, he’ll be smoking on the devil’s cabbage with Michael Phelps and the entire nation of Canada will be in disarray.
I will say that I can’t wait for the first GIF to come out of Condorelli flipping his dad the bird. Not sure if it will be good enough to slide past Pikachu the GOAT in the Power Rankings, but it could be close.
Obligatory
