Call Off Barstool Idol, We Need To Hire This Italian Scumbag Sliding Into Our Reddit Messages Sight Unseen

Me scuzi!!! That’s it. Call off the search. I like Ginger and the other guy who hates me as they duke it out for the winner of Barstool Idol, but we may have found a better option. In fact, Giovanni just put the entire office on notice. The PFT Guido, if you will. If English isn’t his first language then he’s definitely fluent in sleaze. You don’t throw out “Tits” as part of your hobbies and coin the term “Elite Big Dick” unless you know what you’re doing as a toke Italiano scumbag. I mean, he doesn’t even need a salary and his writings own pussy. It’s a win-win-win for everyone. This Cannoli is pure entertainment. Or at least it’s a refreshing DM, especially since below is 99.999999% of what we receive as interest for a job at Barstool. You’re the man, brah.

PS – Then again, this Italian is almost too good to be real. Gotta be a troll. I’ve been on edge since that KFC impostor slid into my DM’s and trolled me into unpacking boxes for an hour to look for my baseball pants. Tip of the cap to you good sir, again.