Beer League Hockey Goalie Is Headed To Jail For Slashing The Shit Out Of Some Dude's Face
Source – A hockey goalie who destroyed another player’s face with his stick is headed to jail.
Todd Ball, 38, of Fort Erie, was sentenced to serve 30 days on weekends and one-year of probation for assault causing bodily harm by Judge Tory Colvin Wednesday…The incident occurred during the final day of the 3-on-3 Ice Hockey Challenge at the Fort Erie Leisureplex. Ball was celebrating his birthday and had been “binge drinking” since early in the morning, court was told.
Before we get going here, I just want to say that even though I didn’t technically go to law school, I believe the old “it’s my birthday and I was getting wasted all morning so what the fuck did you expect to happen?” defense has to hold up in court. It would be one thing if Todd Ball was just binge drinking before the game. That’s called beer league hockey and everybody was binge drinking before the game. It would be one thing if it was Todd Ball’s birthday that day. Everybody has a birthday, bro. Get over yourself. But the fact that it was his birthday AND he was binge drinking? Well that’s a double whammy and a “get out of jail free” card. Unfortunately, the judge is a fuckin’ squid and doesn’t understand that so it looks like Toddy boy will be spending the next 15 weekends in jail. Which I have to imagine he’s pretty welcoming to. Gets him out of the house and away from the wife and kids for a few weekends. Pretty much like going away to a semester of college.
Advertisement
Now on to the actual slash at head here.
The optics here aren’t great. That much is for sure. Especially when you’re getting quotes like this from the dude who had his face used as a piñata.
“He only got 30 days for breaking someone’s face. My life has never been the same.
“I can’t feel my face. It is numb. I get bad headaches. It is hard for me to sleep. I’ve had facial surgeries and reconstructions. The sentence was too lenient. It’s an injustice. It’s ridiculous.”
It’s a move that I could see coming straight out of the Ricky’s Trailer Park Hockey Goalie Training Tutorial. Everybody is out there just having a good time playing some shitty 3v3 hockey. Guys are just gliding around out there, obviously nobody is taking the game too seriously. And then this jabroni comes out of nowhere and decides to tee off on this poor sack of shit’s dome. But if you want to be angry at the goalie, you also have to get pissed off at the rest of the white team here. Because not a single punch was thrown. Everybody who was on the bench stayed in the bench. The goalie stayed down in his own crease. You see a goalie take a two-handed hack at your boy’s skull and you better have 6 angry savages rushing down to kick the shit out of him. There was nothing there at all. One guy raised his arms and that was it. Fucking despicable. Almost worst than the slash itself.