CB – We all know that Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice is poised to be a behemoth of a movie. Starting out as a simple sequel to Man of Steel, the film has grown to the point where it really represents the jumping off point for the entire DC Extended Universe. With that in mind, the story simply cannot be told in a quick 90-minute film. We’ve always figured Batman V Superman would be long, but now we know the exact length of the final product. A new update to the AMC Theaters website confirms that the run time Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice will clock in at two hours and thirty-one minutes.
Hey, Hollywood: Congrats. We both know you have our balls in a vice. That’s a given. Hell, Star Wars movie could’ve solely consisted of C-3PO butt fingering Chewbacca for 3.5 hours and it would’ve still grossed a billion dollars to rave reviews. Same thing with this new Batman V. Superman movie. It doesn’t matter what happens or how good/bad/long it’s going to be. You might as well have cashed the checks to straight cash homie once the flick was green lit. And now the fine paying customers have the pleasure of spending 2.5 hours making sure their buttcheeks don’t become one with their seats.
What is this, The Godfather? Freaking Gettysburg? Wrap everything up in a nice, neat little package of 2 hours and call it a day. There’s no rhyme or reason this movie to run as an Epic. ESPECIALLY since we all know what’s going to go down during the entire thing. I ranted on this before, but thanks Hollywood for releasing previews that essentially tell every damn plot point and surprise in the film.
For real. Every single predictable act in this damn thing was shown in that 3 minutes. Act I: Bruce Wayne is Batman and makes his way to Metropolis where him and Clark Kent/Superman get feisty like two little school girls. Act II: Lex Luthor does something to make them turn against each other. It’s obvious Kyrptonite is involved or else Batman wouldn’t stand a chance. They even show Superman de-masking Batman, a detail that is so unnecessary to know going into the movie. Act III: They kiss and make up to defeat Lex Luthor’s Doomsday and have a beef-off to see who is going to slay Wonder Woman – Whose appearance is another fact that could’ve been easily left out of the trailer even if she was announced before. And there you have it. Besides the Joker references the only thing left to find out is how to get Michael Bay’d into Bolivian. Thanks for even trying, Hollywood.
Oh, and Zach Snyder is grossly overrated. 300 was the certified tits. Watchman was decent (best part was the damn opening credits) but it would have been great if they cut it down to an even 4.5 hours. Other than that? Man Of Steel, Dawn Of The Dead* and Sucker Punch were all very, very meh. Hopefully making one of the squirreliest, non-threatening Jews on Earth in Jesse Eisenberg actually look legit as a psychopathic Lex Luther is a start of good things to come.
Also, Doug Stamper was the dickbag security guard in Dawn Of The Dead. The more you know…
This movie is going to suck. Will I watch it? Absolutely
that long of a movie and not being the godfathers might as well be reading a book
I wouldn’t even watch a 5 minute clip with affleck let alone this movie
Met Doug Stamper in a bar, stirs his old fashioned with a boat paddle.
Jessie Eisenberg as lex luthor pisses me off so much… There’s a guy named Bryan Cranston who’s bald and does an incredible job playing a villain, would have been awesome
Fuck Ben Affleck as Batman. As a matter of fact Fuck Ben Affleck in general.
This movie will be absolute shit and I can’t wait to see this train wreck.
Smitty is in the top 3 funniest at BSS. The chewie c3po butt fingering line made me
Laugh out loud
Never heard a man be so upset over a superhero movie.
Don’t knock it till you see it imo
Superman kills Doomsday.
The last 2 and a half hour movie I sat down for was Straight Outta Compton. I was asleep 20 minutes in
i thought man of steel was tits.
Sidenote: after watching man of steel for the first time, i had my first dream that I could fly in and it was AWESOME. if you’ve never dreamed of being able to literally just jump and fly, watch man of steel, smoke a bong, and go to sleep. Life changing stuff
Wrong Batman kiddo
@nflsundayticket Bryan Cranston isn’t bald in real life bud. Grab some pine.
they also have to introduce Flash and Aquaman and Cyborg to spawn the next billion sequels so its going to run a little long. also, hasnt 75% of this blog been recycled 100 times?
Phil Dunphey was slaying pussy in Dawn of the Dead too
You sound like Feitelberg complaining about movie length. What else are you going to do? Probably sit for 2.5 hours at home.
+1 on fuck ben affleck
You should re-watch Dawn of the Dead. Shit is hot fire.
@fuckembucky no shit. During the casting process Warner Brothers never approached Cranston despite the fact he said he would be interested and there was a ton of fan support
Huge, loserish nerd complaint, but can we use a picture of Affleck instead of Bale for the headline one time?
Oh, and superman de-masking batman is part of a dream sequence…..not that ive been keeping tabs on this movie for 4 years or anything……..
Sucker Punch is fun to beat off to.
Literally all his movies have been great
Why are you complaining? You’re going to spend at least $12 on a ticket, probably closer to $20 if it’s an IMAX movie, plus food. So don’t you want to get the most out of all that money you’re spending?
The dweeb playing Lex Luther makes casting Ben afflack as batman seem like a savvy move.
actually read that all of the characters from the Justice league will be making a cameo in this moving. kind of an introduction film before they start dropping each individual movie. so im pretty sure theres a lot left to be seen other than whats in the previews
Man of Steel was fucking great. All serious, not like all the Marvel movies that consist 50% of corny ass jokes.
Suicide squad will blow this movie out of the water
Man of steel was awful.
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