And Here We Have Joel Embiid Getting Super Jiggy Wit It On The Court Without Breaking Any Limbs

Yes. That bionic foot filled with the stem-cells of fetuses from Qatar is looking FRESH. For the record, I’m very opposed to Joel Embiid doing anything physical outside of improving his game. That includes walking and feeding himself. You never know when you may trip over your own 7 ft body and shatter your shit or misjudge your eating experience and take an accidental fork to the eye. I’d honestly would prefer him in a Hyperbolic Chamber to heal a la a Dracula in his coffin until the season kicks off. But you gotta let the man live his life. And if there’s one thing Joel Embiid does, it’s Shirley Temples (EXTRA GRENADINE). Followed by that, it’s live. If JoJo wants to live it up by rather impressively dancing on the court before throwing down a monster windmill slam, more power to him. Just gotta make sure he doesn’t miss a beat and pull a Kevin Ware.

Also, maybe stay out of anything and everything political, JoJo. Ben Simmons put you in your grave.