The USA Basketball Team Will Be Staying On A Luxury Cruise Ship Instead Of In The Olympic Village
Daily Mail- The millionaire NBA stars will arrive for the Rio Olympics tomorrow to take up residence in this luxury cruise ship and have to negotiate their way through a building site. The Olympic superstars’ boat is moored on the Port of Rio, which is surrounded by workmen drilling, digging and putting the finishing touches to the area immediately in front of the 196-cabin boat. When players like Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony and Kyrie Irving look out of their specially adapted cabins to the port they will view teams of construction workers in hard hats racing against time to complete their work.
The only entrance is through an airport style scanner which is manned by Port Maua staff, backed up by security guards. On the water police circle the ship on gun boats with marksmen equipped with automatic rifles. The moored ship is surrounded by a bullet proof glass fence and 250 federal police officers are on alert keeping a watchful eye. ‘Nobody can get near the boat without invitation’ said one security official.
Normally, a cabin can cost around $13,000-a-week, but the entire ship, which has a 514ft length, has been commissioned by IT firm Cisco who will have staff on board along with the basketball Olympics personnel. The boat is owned by Italian firm Silversea and its website states: ‘Spacious yet intimate, designed to cross oceans and yet able to slip up rivers and into hidden harbors with ease, the yacht-like Silver Cloud carries just 296 guests in incomparable comfort and style.
I’m torn on this news. As a Knicks fan, I hate the idea of having one of my super team’s stars resting his head next to Zika, poop-filled water, and the everyday Brazilian whores in the middle of the chaos that is going to be the Rio olympic village. Plus there is something awesome about putting the greatest team from the greatest country in the greatest accommodations while all the other countries battle it out Lord of the Flies style. Oh yeah and that boat is absolutely, positively ridiculous.
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But the other side of this is that the team will be missing out on all the fun of the Olympic village. Sure you can still take a side piece back to your luxury cruise ship, but only after she gives them all her paperwork and undergoes a DNA test while dudes with machine guns watch. There is no sneaking a girl in and out while nobody else knows. And cruises are one of those things that are never as fun as they seem. Even a boat as ridiculous looking as the Silver Cloud is probably pretty lame when its all said and done. Plus if you are a Brazilian crook and really want to strike it rich, what is easier than arming a bunch of your buddies and hijacking the cruise ship with people whose combined net worth are somewhere in the billions and go full blown Captain Phillips “I am the Captain now”?
Plus there is some charm to slumming it with all the other “common” Olympic folks. For every horror story about the police potentially being unable to protect the village correctly, there is another about all the people looking to fuck at the drop of a hat. Draymond Green wouldn’t even have time to Snapchat his dick out because it will be swimming in random chicks in the Olympic village. It’s like being in the dorms in college compared to being off campus in a really nice house. You lose some of the fun that comes with cramping a shitload of people in crappy housing.
Oh yeah and guess who else is there?
Delly and the fucking Aussies! If I have a choice between being secluded on some fancy boat or getting down and dirty with a shitload of Australians, count me in for getting down and dirty with some of Margot Robbie’s kind every single time out, even if staying in the village increases the odds of me getting kidnapped and/or killed by a hundred thousand trillion percent.
Obligatory Margot Robbie Suicide Squad ass shot:
Also just spitballing here, but if other U.S. Olympic athletes don’t like the special treatment the basketball team is getting, couldn’t we just send a few more luxury cruise ships down to Rio? If you win gold, you get to go on the ships. If not, you stay in the Thunderdome that is the Olympic village.
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