The New Secretary Of The Interior Rode A Horse To Work His First Day On The Job

(I didn’t realize this was already blogged because I was woken up at 4:15 a.m. this morning by a human iPhone notification named Siena)

Do I know what the Secretary of the Interior does? Of course not. No clue. It feels like a nickname that David Robinson could have been given if his game resembled Dikembe Mutombo’s. It maybe could have even one of those Costacos Brothers posters from back in the day. But I will say that I am completely sold on Ryan Zinke. According to the always accurate Wikipedia, he’s an ex-Marine, so you know he’s badass (potentially with a heart of gold, I’m looking at your Chaps). He played football at Oregon, so he clearly can carry a decent conversation about sports or how much of a dick the NCAA is. He is from Montana, which adds to his badass ratings but is also the home of Phil Jackson which doesn’t hurt. But showing up to the first day on the job riding a horse like one of Teddy Roosevelt’s rough riders means he doesn’t give a fuck with the swagger on par with Yoenis Motherfucking Cespedes.

Oh yeah and the Department of the Interior has an absolute FIRE flag.

I’m all in on a ticket featuring Ryan Zinke in 2020 (I wouldn’t be shocked if he ran against an incumbent Trump either. Guys that ride on horseback don’t answer to anybody).