The NBA Released Its Twitter Team Hashtags And There Are Some Doozies
I’ve said this a million times and I will say it a million more, but the NBA and Twitter are a match made in heaven. The league embraces social media, the highlights are the perfect length for Vines, and #BlackTwitter is always appointment viewing during NBA season.
Which is why these hashtags are so confusing. People would actually use them because everyone loves a free emoji popping up in their tweet if the hashtag made sense. But most of these suck. Lets start locally.
I’m just gonna come out and say it. I hate boring hashtags. Sure typing #Knicks in a tweet makes more sense than some stupid catchphrase made by the PR department or some shit. But this is New York. Concrete jungle where dreams and countless marketing phrases are made of. #Knickstape was so basic yet so good. Couldn’t the NBA have just thrown Knicks fans a bone for once and given them the hashtag #SuperTeam with this emoji instead of that boring ass throwback?
– Not sure how a borough known for going through a humongous gentrification process could get the hashtag #BrooklynGrit. But then I saw this picture and the first word I thought of was grit (JK, this hashtag probably made PFT cry).
– Red Auerbach must be smiling in heaven knowing that the #Celtics hashtag is boring as fuck.
– I feel like if you put #MFFL in the search bar of PornHub, you get some wild results. Some of which would ironically involve a very tall German guy doing stuff that blows your mind.
– #TrueToAtlanta? What the fuck does that even mean. That is a hashtag the Braves should have used for when Chipper fucking Jones retired. Not for an NBA team in Hotlanta. I bet Dwight Howard’s corny ass came up with this hashtag.
– I like the hashtag for #DubNation but the logo is weeeeak (unless you are allowed to punch your friend if they look at that hand gesture when it’s below your waist. Loved that game in high school). Maybe go full heel and have a foot kicking a dick?
– I like #DetroitBasketball. But I would have loved #DEEEEEETROIIIIIBASKETBALLLLLLL, character limits be damned.
Or #SVGsFreakFactory
– #DefendTheLand should just be replaced with #ThankYouLeBron if we are being honest.
– #WeArePHX makes me laugh because all I think of is Frank Kaminsky and Spencer Hawes try to name 3 players on the Phoenix Suns during the early days of Pardon My Take. You know things are bad when Jared Dudley returning to Phoenix was the biggest offseason signing (complete with a Players Tribune piece and all!).
– #OwnTheFuture is more of a tagline for an investment firm that has a million commercials during NFL Sunday instead of a team that has a 6’11” Greek freak playing point guard for it. The Bucks social media intern should listen to Jadakiss spit “I’mma get Bucks like Milwaukee, cause like Sam, I ca’ sell” over and over again for inspiration before coming up with a better hashtag.
– #MileHighBasketball makes me think of airplane sex, not Danilo Galinari and the fellas. I’m just happy the Nuggets didn’t go with #WhitePride, which was the name of their Adidas pride jersey.
– “You know what NBA fans love? Being reminded how old franchises they hardly care about are. Lets go with #Rockets50 for Houston!”- Somebody in the NBA social media department
– However, I don’t mind using numbers in the hashtags. I wish they could change #Pelicans to #Pelicans [number of weeks until Anthony Davis is expected to come back from his latest injury]
– #GoPacers is more Indiana than videos of tractors driving through farmland followed by a video of a kid playing basketball on his old, broken down hoop. Also, fuck Reggie Miller and his stupid belly button tattoo.
– #PowerOfThePack immediately makes me think of the “Pussy on a pedestal” line from 40 Year Old Virgin. Maybe #PowerOfTheThibs?
– #BuzzCity and #RipCity are actually good hashtags. Then again, it’s hard to fuck up a cool nickname for your city that ends in City. And I like #GrindCity for the Grizzlies because they have been bullies for years, to the point where I actually forget that Vince Carter was known as a huge pussy for years before landing in Memphis.
– I think the #BullsNation hashtag will turn into #BullsCivilWar by mid-February, absolute latest. This picture tells me that there are going to be so many unnamed sources that will be discussing who is happy and unhappy in that locker room.
– #LetsGoMagic is to NBA hashtags as Orlando is to American cities. Same for #GoSpursGo and San Antonio. The fact that those are the only two teams Tim Duncan ever really considered playing for during his career also makes perfect sense.
– #BallmerBall >>>>>>> #ItTakesEverything
– I know the boring ass people in OKC like to say #ThunderUp. But would it have killed the Thunder to think of some subliminal way to hide the message #FuckKD in their hashtag. And don’t ask me how. I’m the person that never noticed the arrow in between the E and the X in the FedEx logo for almost my entire life.
– #SacramentoProud sounds like a very Californian, progressive LGBT saying. Not the hashtag for a team with Boogie Cousins on it. In fact, the Kings hashtag should just be #TheBoogieBoys. Either that or #SacramentoPied for my random favorite story of 2016, when former Sun and current Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson reportedly got hit in the face by a whipped cream pie and then allegedly beat the shit out of pie thrower.
– #TakeNote, Utah? Really?
Either give New Orleans the Jazz name back or pay respects to the late great Christopher Wallace by changing your hashtag to #RelaxAndTakeNotes
– The fact that #TrustTheProcess is not the Sixers motto is the most disrespectful thing done to Sam Hinkie since whatever Littlefinger-esque nonsense Jerry Colangelo pulled to lead to Hinkie abruptly quitting and Bryan Colangelo becoming team president.