Study Says People Who Use Emojis Get Laid More Often And Have Better Orgasms
DM – People who use emojis in text messages have more sex than those who don’t, according to Match.com’s annual dating survey.
The Singles in America study polled more than 5,600 single people of all ages, ethnicities, incomes and walks of life; and found that emoji users were more likely to report having sex at least monthly than non-emoji users.
The ‘wink’ is the most widely used emoji overall, but when you separate men and women, men are more likely to pepper their texts with ‘kiss’ and ‘heart eyes’ emojis, while women prefer ‘smileys’.
Indeed, around 50 percent of men and women agree that emojis ‘show personality’ and around 35 percent of both sexes say they make ‘expressing feelings’ easier.
Just don’t spell your feelings wrong. The study also found that 54 percent of single women and 36 percent of men find misspellings and incorrect grammar to be the biggest text message turn-offs.
I feel like there’s a lot of anti-emoji sentiment from Barstool readers and I honestly don’t get it. I’m not talking about a manually entered winky face or smiley at the end of a text, those are garbage and only used by terrible idiots. But actual emojis are perfect for any occasion when texting, flirting, and everything in between. Dating is all about making it seem like you want it less and nothing puts that point across better than a tiny effortless picture going where words might otherwise. For example here’s my list of most used emojis:
Real good group we’ve got here. You’ve got your basic sexy emojis up there on the top line, eggplant for dicks, peach for vag, classic droplets for any jizz occasion. You’ve also got the regular heart to imply love, the broken heart to imply someone’s let you down, your heart eyes to make a chick feel warm inside, your kissy face to show that despite your cool tough exterior you’ve got a romantic side. A real murderer’s row of emojis for slinging pipe. No clue why I’ve got chicken legs and fruit in the mix — maybe some sort of elaborate game of text Pac Man I was playing — but overall this is the crew you need. Less is more. If I can say it in a little yellow faced press of a button, I’ll take that over thinking of dumb shit like “words” and “coherently expressed opinions” 9 times out of 10.
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That said, Awkward Face Emoji is the emoji MVP, carries any load for a situation. Casting out a net of trying to bang or scam nudes? Awkward Face Emoji. Sick of seeing someone and need to make it clear this is uncomfortable for you to say? Awkward Face Emoji. Unassuming yet quiet versatility for every occasion. I’m not sure I could live without eggplant emoji or 100 but Awkward Face Emoji is the locker room glue holding it all together. If it’s not a part of your rotation, your emoji game is not 100 emoji and you’ll definitely never be getting any peach emoji. Broken heart emojis all over.