Study Says People In North Dakota Have The Biggest Dicks
TIME – Condomania.com, which claims to be America’s first online condom store (who knew!), has decided to conduct its own very important, highly scientific study*. According to a press release, the website compiled condom sales data by state to find out which states bought a higher-than-average amount of larger-sized condoms.
The result? A list of all 50 states, “ordered by penis size”–and some surprising news for the Dakotas.
- North Dakota
- Rhode Island
- South Dakota
- District of Columbia
- Massachusetts
- Ohio
- Arizona
- Alabama
- New York
- South Carolina
- Colorado
- Maryland
- Wisconsin
- New Jersey
- California
- Florida
- Connecticut
- Virginia
- Oregon
- Pennsylvania
- Washington
- Tennessee
- New Mexico
- Iowa
- Illinois
- Louisiana
- Vermont
- Utah
- Maine
- Nebraska
- Idaho
- Kansas
- Delaware
- Michigan
- Nevada
- New Hampshire
- Oklahoma
- Montana
- Minnesota
- Kentucky
- Texas
- Indiana
- West Virginia
- Missouri
- Alaska
- North Carolina
- Wyoming
- Arkansas
- Hawaii
- Mississippi
How about both the Dakotas checking in at the top of the cock size list? Good for them. Not much else going for them. Basically just shale oil and monster dicks. Kind of like an episode of the Twilight Zone though, you know? Like the guys made a deal with the Devil to have huge dicks but then they were banished to North Dakota where you’ll never find a woman to use said dicks. Its like that old saying “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” If you’ve got a hammerhead cock in North Dakota, and there’s no women around to fuck it, do you have a hammerhead cock at all? You’ve got nothin but an uncomfortable situation with your boxer shorts and you need a serious waistband tuck to save you when you have random boners.