Sebastian Telfair Was Arrested With A Goddamn Arsenal Of Guns And Two Bags Of Weed

PIX11- Former NBA player Sebastian Telfair was arrested early Sunday in Brooklyn on weapons charges. He was allegedly illegally parked in a pickup truck with another man, 18-year-old Jami Thomas, when police spotted them, NYPD sources said. Police stopped them after Telfair started driving without turning the car’s headlights on.

Officers found three loaded firearms, one semi-automatic rifle, a bulletproof vest, a large quantity of ammunition and two bags of marijuana inside the car.

Police arrested Telfair, 32, and charged him with criminal possession of a weapon, unlawful possession of a ballistic vest, criminal possession of a controlled substance and unlawful possession of ammunition.

REGULATORRRRRRRRS, MOUNT UPPPPPPPPP!!!! Sebastian Telfair was gearing the fuck up for some shit about to go down. There must have been some Grand Theft Auto mission in real life that Bassy just couldn’t beat, so he went the whole nine yards. Bullet proof vest, semi-automatic rifle, and some extra handguns just in case he needed to get a couple of shots off while he was running. My real question is how the hell is Telfair packing all that heat on his 170 lb. frame? That’s the biggest loophole that GTA always leaves out. How are you honestly supposed to carry a pistol, a shotgun, a bazooka, AND a flame thrower while still also being able to run fast enough to escape the Triads because you mistakenly carjacked their leader? Then again we live in a world where Sebastian Telfair is being called an NBA star on Twitter, so there may be a glitch in the Matrix.

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Also I hope that this all didn’t go down because of a certain Chinese Basketball Association correspondent. I know Sebastian and his cousin Stephon Marbury have had their issues, so it’s probably not related to any Ducks slander. But I just pray this thwarted attack wasn’t in retaliation to our favorite Shahhhhks fan talking shit to the Flying Tigers.

I still can’t believe the Knicks didn’t somehow end up with Telfair at some point of his career. Everything about Telfair, right down to the documentary made about him being a New York high school basketball legend while he was still in high school screamed Knicks False Savior.

You win some, you lose some Slam.