Rate My Birthday Present From My Parents This Year

Motherfuckin Mets toaster. Imprints the Mets logo on your bread. I don’t know whats worse – the fact that in the middle of my one-third life crisis the best my parents could muster up was a toaster. Or – the fact that when I opened it up and saw it was a toaster I was legitimately excited. I haven’t owned a toaster in the past 3 years. And I fuckin love frozen Eggos and stuff. So when I opened it up yesterday I actually gasped and was like “Oh my god! A toaster!” Immediately wanted to throw myself in traffic after getting excited about it.

Especially considering its a Mets toaster. So it will probably completely under perform. Throw my frozen waffles in there and when they pop out they are barely even warm. But still warm enough that the owner of the toaster doesn’t think about spending any more money on a new toaster or trying to fix the current toaster. Just probably stay put and keep my current, mediocre toaster for years and years of disappointing waffles and bread.

Vote 1 for your parents don’t love you Vote 10 for Hey bro, you said you liked waffles and got excited so its a good gift.

(5 votes, average: 6.80 out of 10)

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