MetLife Has Decided To Part Ways With The "Peanuts" Gang Like A Bunch Of Idiots

Mashable- After three decades of selling insurance, Charlie Brown’s dog and his Peanuts cohorts are hitting the unemployment line. MetLife announced Thursday that it’s ending the longstanding association as it rejiggers its brand for a more corporate audience. Advertising blog AgencySpy first reported rumors of the change in July. The shakeup comes after the company said earlier this year that it would spin off its retail life insurance business to focus more on its workplace clients.

“We brought in Snoopy over 30 years ago to make our company more friendly and approachable during a time when insurance companies were seen as cold and distant,” Esther Lee, MetLife’s chief marketing officer, said in a press release. But that warmth is less important now that MetLife caters to business-side customers.

MetLife will also no longer contract blimps for aerial coverage of big live events, and plans for future sponsorships are unclear.

Hey MetLife, how about you go fuck yourself? Sure I’ve grown out of watching every Charlie Brown special around their specific holiday and think insurance companies are the biggest crooks on the planet. But taking money out of Charlie Brown’s wallet is as unAmerican as communism. Snoopy gotta eat. So does that little bitch Woodstock. And that dirty fuck Pigpen is as good as dead now.

Yes I realize that you are going more into workplace clients. But cube monkeys at gigantic corporations have emotions too. They like thinking their insurance company is some wisecracking lizard with a British accent or a psycho named Mayhem instead of some 54-year-old pencil pushing nerd looking to screw them out of their claim. MetLife already gave me the most vanilla stadium that $1.6 billion can buy. I didn’t need them giving a pink slip to some of my best pals from childhood. However, I can’t get too mad at them dumping the MetLife blimp. Even Snoopy knew that he wasn’t moving the needle enough. If you ain’t Goodyear, you’re last.

And you know what the worst part of all this is? This news likely is the death knell for The Snoopy Bowl game between the Giants and the Jets for the Snoopy Trophy. Goodnight sweet prince.