Men Reveal Their Lingerie Choices Through Underwear Poll
Alright a couple things right off the bat. Asking a dude what his “Bra preference” is, is a weird question. I mean when you lay the answers out in front of me, I guess I can pick. I’ll just be like “Uhhh the one that makes your tits look awesome and shove them up to your neck.” But if you think I had any fucking clue what the fuck a “balconette bra” was you are outside of your mind. The bra to most guys is just the last line of defense. The last security that needs to be breached before you get to boobs. We’re probably focused more on bra clasps than bra types.
Second thing – if your preferred bra is a sports bra, you need to be locked up right now. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Unless you’re Arod or some meathead at the gym, the sports bra being the preferred choice is weird shit. I mean I can see a scenario – chick in yoga pants and a sports bra looking like a smoke and you wanna fuck her. But if like you’re fantasy situation has a girl in a sports bra thats a little weird.
Which brings me to underwear choice – where the boy shorts or in this poll the “cheeky brief” has been making a huge push in recent years. Enormous amount of good PR for any underwear thats non-thong but non granny panties. Somewhere in between. Whether its booty shorts or scrunch butt or hip huggers or whatever you want to call it, guys will tell you those are their favorites now. And if we’re being honest I think its a bunch of PR baloney. Its like when they gave the MVP to Karl Malone because they were tired of giving it to Jordan. The thong is still king. Yea some cheeky briefs and some boy shorts are still hot. They are versatile because they can be hot, they can be cute, sometimes they leave more to the imagination. Yada yada yada. At the end of the day, in the land of underwear that goes in between buttcheeks, the thong is king. Now I dont want some boring plain thong. I want some cool strappy shit. Something tiny. Something thats gonna get me excited when it pops out of the top of your jeans. But the overall thong is still king and and dude who’s spitting in the thongs eye saying boyshorts is just trying to come up with a different type of answer.
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Finally, that last bit about how much bras cost, I have no clue myself. I thought they were highlighting that $250 being like “Look how dumb men are, this bra cost $250.” They highlighted it because it really does cost that much. So count me OUT on the guessing game when it comes to the prices of womens underwear. They pay like $100 for 6 total inches of fabric. I’m worse at estimating that then I am at guessing how many M&Ms are in a jar. I fucking SUCK at that. My answer is always off by about 600.
PS – Cant tell whats weirder on the underwear – 10% no preference or 15% bikini. I know “Bikini” can be sexy but in my mind thats just like “Yup, I prefer standard white cotton under pants. Give me some Fruit of the Looms or some Hanes please.” And “No preference” is just a fucking lie. Theres no way you dont have an underwear preference on a chick unless you’re a gay dude.