Lil B Warns The Cavs About Stealing His Swag, Shumpert Apologizes To The Based God

The Based God has spoken. Kevin Durant’s career plummeted, James Harden and the Rockets are all but buried in the dirt, and now he has warned Lebron and the Cavs. I wouldnt say I completely believe in hexes and hoaxes and jinxes and mushes. But there are a few things that are just not worth fucking with if you’re a pro athlete:

1) The Madden Cover – Its really just not worth being on the cover of a video game. Just tell EA Sports thanks but no thanks.

2) the KFC Mush – I’m as real as it gets when it comes to ruining a good thing. If you’re ever confronted with getting tangled with me and the KFC Mush, just dont bother. You’re fucked.

3) The Lil B Based God Curse – This is as simple as it gets, man. Just dont talk about Lil B at all. Don’t critique his rapping. Don’t steal his dances. If you’re a pro athlete and you have anything to lose, at all, just avoid anything and everything Lil B related. Chances are the Based God cant actually influence you or the world around you in a negative way through Black Magic (see what I did there?), but there’s enough evidence to the contrary to make even the biggest skeptic say “You know what? I’m just not gonna fuck with that dude.”

Lil B has spoken. Heed his advice.

UPDATE: Leave it to Iman Shumpert to come up with maybe the most important play of the entire Cavs season –

You’re not gonna see this on the stats sheet. Lebron will make it all about him. But Shump appeasing the Based God by paying his respects will be the most important thing anybody on the Cleveland Cavs has done this postseason.