Lena Dunham To Speak At The Democratic National Convention

I have gone on the record twice this election season saying theres two ways Donald Trump can guarantee my vote for him:

1) If he has a hologram George Washington give a speech at the RNC. This is still on the table since we have another night to go, but seems rather unlikely

2) If Hillary Clinton had Lena Dunham speak at the Democratic National Convention.

And so there you have it. I dont think I’m even registered to vote but if I was, I would have to be officially locked in with a Donald Trump vote. Lena fucking Dunham out there to announce the Democratic nominee for the goddam President of the United States. As much as I can absolutely believe this, I still actually cant. I just cant believe that at the end of the day, this was the best the DNC could dig up for their show. In the words of Donald Trump….Sad! I guess Hillary and company were like, do you know what we need? We need a girl who’s a Mouthy Potato. We need a girl who looks like a clumpy tub of bleu cheese dressing. Is there anyone out there looks like a soft boiled egg but can also give a speech? Hillary needs an uncooked Thanksgiving turkey to announce her! Who can we get??

Lena Dunham!!!

I feel like Hillary and the Democrats have some sort of Batsignal for Lena Dunham. They flash the picture of a stuffed baked potato into the sky and she shows up with her floppy tits.

You’re telling me there wasnt one person…not ONE person…who was like “Well. Yea, she fits our target. But also she fingered her sister. And faked a rape case. So maybe we shouldnt go with her?” Insanity, man. Insanity. Its one thing for her to have a TV show and keep doing all these interviews and shit despite molesting her sister. Its another thing to represent one of the major political parties in this country.

I guess it really is time to Make America Great Again! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump!