Latest NYC Craze For Middle Aged Men Going Through A Mid Life Crisis: Riding Skateboards - Daily Mail

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Look here’s the deal – if you’re middle aged and going through a midlife crisis, you are supposed to rely on your money. Thats how it works. When you’re young and cool and popular, you’re broke. When you’re old and ugly and lame, you’ve got money. At different times in life you rely on different things in order to get pussy and feel good about yourself.

So leave the skateboard at home. Take out the wallet. There will be plenty of young, good looking guys with a full head of hair that can still beat you at that game, whether you’re riding a fucking skateboard or not. But they cant compete with that cash flow, brotha. So find chicks who like money and have sex with them because you have a lot of it and stop pretending you’re Tony Hawk. You’re a grown man. Start acting like it. Pay for pussy.

Also we have the President of Zimbabwe asking Obama to marry him, China refuses to buy into the gay hype, Google Maps is responsible for people getting hit by trains, and, my favorite story of the day, Japanese women flocking to the zoo to see a sexy new gorilla named Shabani.