If I Keep Wearing A Suit During Their Games, Will The Mets Ever Lose Another Game?
So here is a brief recap of what has happened in the last week. The Mets were in their personal nightmare factory in Atlanta, losing two in a row to the Braves after getting off to a hot start in Washington. So on my way out to a baptism, I put on my Sunday best (along with my Kate Upton Game of War voice) and made a plea to Bartolo Colon.
And then this happened:
Followed by The Funk from the wildly entertaining Put It In The Podcast Mets podcast calling my big, dumb ass out.
And even though I work from home and usually dress like a homeless person, I decided I had to suit up for Jacob deGrom’s start on Opening Day. Not because a man that has hair like Uncle Jesse and the right arm of Zeus needs it. But better safe than sorry.
And to nobody’s surprise:
Which led us into Harvey Day. I figured Matt Harvey’s first home start since 2013 deserved a nice look, so I threw on the black tie.
And despite one of the strangest games I have ever seen, the result was completely expected:
So I suited up for Jon Niese’s start. Because his hot wife’s good luck blue panties can’t do everything by themselves (or is it themself?). Anyway, she’s a smoke.
Annnnd boom:
After sweeping the Phillies away, I concluded that I should look my best for the Marlins coming to Citi Field, since the Mets will likely be competing with them for the wild card division.
And with Dillon Gee being the weak link of the rotation, I am giving the suit about 80% of the credit for this victory (with Lucas Duda and Wilmer Flores shouldering the other 20%).
Which takes us to last night, when I always try to look big and sexy when Big Sexy is on the bump.
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And as KFC wrote last night, Bartolo was poetry on the mound and at the plate, while Juan Lagares took care of business in center field:
So here we are. The Mets are winners of six straight. Does it stop when I run out of ties? Do I go to Jos. A Bank and see if I can get their buy one suit, get a dozen free deals? If (when?) the Mets stroll into the stadium of New York’s “other baseball team” for Barstool At The Ballpark tailgate on a 12-game winning streak, do I have to dominate Yankees fans in flip cup and all other drinking games completely suited up? Those 25 young men in Flushing will decide that for me. But in the meantime, #LGM. And of course, #SuitUp!