I Can Watch This Soccer Player Breaking His Opponents Ankles All Day

Clem2/24/2017 3:30 PM

HOT SIZZLLLLLLLLLLLLLE. These are the type of highlights that can make soccer a hit in America. Don’t give me that beautiful game bullshit. America is land of the free and home of the flashy. I don’t want to watch NBA players run a three man weave where the ball never touches the ground. I want to see someone get crossed to hell and back, get dunked on, and then have the dunker tap dance on their grave. Soccer players have the celebrations down. Then again I bet Messi puts guys in a bodybag like this on the regular, which is why my timeline is always flooded with MESSI!!! tweets at random ass hours. But I just need to somehow see more plays like this. And considering there are a kabillion soccer leagues in the world and even dirt poor countries have access to at least an iPhone 4, there is really no excuse why I don’t. Add in reactions in different languages and dialects like this Brit’s reserved “shit” and we may be onto something.

And if you are the guy who scored this goal, you need to get this picture blown up and put on your wall or on a t-shirt or tattooed on your back. It’s not every day that you catch two bodies, score a goal, and get to chow down on a couple of orange slices afterwards.