Duncan's Barstool Dog Show Acceptance Speech

The Champ Is Here!

Huge moment for your boy Duncan taking down the Inaugural Barstool Dog Show. Youngest pup in the bunch. At just a year and a half old, he takes home the crown. To be honest I couldnt believe there was any doubt. Just goes to show how much spin means everything. Portnoy says he thinks Duncan looks old and weird and everyone just jumps on board and goes with it. Then the video of the show comes out and everyone is like “Oh wait a minute, thats actually the cutest fucking friendliest dog I’ve ever seen. Why would I ever think otherwise?” Dont believe everything you hear on the internet, folks.

At the end of the day it wasnt about music or costumes or bloggers or judges understanding your performance. Its about the best pup out there. The pooch with the most personality. The most lovable dog. And thats The One Eared Bandit, Mr. Steal Yo Girl. America Runs on Duncan baby. Dont ever forget it.