Ariana Grande Dumps Big Sean In The Most Predictable Celebrity Break Up Ever

Us Weekly – Ariana Grande and Big Sean are breaking free. The fan-favorite couple have split after eight months of dating, their reps confirm exclusively to Us Weekly. “They both deeply care for each other and remain close friends,” their reps tell Us in a joint statement. “We kindly ask that the media respect their wish for privacy regarding this personal matter at this time.” Insiders close to the two say they very quietly and amicably ended their relationship a few weeks ago. “They made the decision to part ways because their conflicting touring schedules would keep them apart over the next year,” one source tells Us.

If you dont know by know, the Clancy Household is a big time Ariana Grande House. The Roommate has been driving her bandwagon since day 1 and I’m sitting shotgun. That sassy little midget bitch is a superstar and she knows it. So it was really just a matter of time before she bounced on this clown. Like see ya, Big Sean. I’m a mega star and I’m gonna go date an actual famous person now! The 8 month fling with the B List Dwarf rapper is nice when you’re just starting out but now its time to move up. Like getting the call up from JV to varsity.

Just not a good look to be dating a C List rapper while you’re turning into the Queen of Pop. When you got a billion dollar pussy you need a billion dollar dick to go with it. Big Sean’s dick is worth like 10 grand, tops. She’ll probably gonna go find herself a white dude who matches up with her fame. I’d say Bieber is a perfect fit but shes gotta be able to dominate the relationship. She should link up with one of those British twinks from One Direction. Just dominate one of those fuckers.

PS – If I was Big Sean I wouldnt even be mad. Everyone has been there when you’re in a relationship that you know doesnt make sense. Where you can genuinely admit to yourself “I really dont know why this chick is fucking me.” And thats what this was. You’re a 5 foot 4 mediocre rapper. Just be happy you were getting some billion dollar pussy when you did. Dont cry because its over, smile because it happened Big Sean.

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