You Probably Had Fun This Weekend But Did You Get Drunk And Jump On The Back Of A Moose?

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This is the thing about drunk people.  Sure we throw up in cabs, we throw up on buses, we throw up in bars, we send embarrassing text messages at 3am to people who have been sleeping for 4 hours already and we disappoint our families a hundred times over.  But one thing drunk people is that we’re explorers.  We’ll push the boundaries.  Do you know how many big time discoveries have been made by a drunk person?  I don’t either but I bet it’s a lot.  Nobody jumps on a moose sober.  They just don’t.  The thought doesn’t even cross a sober person’s mind to mount a moose that walks by tour boat.  You need at least 16 Natty Lights in your belly before that even becomes a remote possibility.

PS- That is for sure one of those things where you stumble into the kitchen the next morning where everybody is drinking giant glasses of water and trying not to die and ask, “Did I really jump on a moose yesterday?”  Yep, you did.