The Base Of The Tallest Church In The World Is Eroding Cause Drunks Keep Pissing On It
(CNN)- The tallest church in the world is under attack — and the aggressor is human urine. The magnificent 531-feet-tall (162-meter) steeple of Ulm Minster dominates the German city of Ulm, which lies on the River Danube in Baden-Württemberg. But now officials responsible for its upkeep say the stone base of the Gothic tower, which has long acted as a lightning rod to late-night revelers looking to relieve themselves, is being eroded by salt and acids in the urine, Südwest Presse reports. “Wildpinkler,” as al fresco micturition is known in Germany, has become such a problem that earlier this year the city doubled fines to 100 euros ($109) for anyone caught in the act. “I’ve been keeping an eye on it for half a year now and, once again, it’s coated with urine and vomit,” Michael Hilbert, the building’s head of maintenance, told Südwest Presse. “This is about preserving law and order.”
Not to go all anti-religion but if your church can’t handle a little piss on it’s feet, your religion ain’t the real one. It just isn’t. The fact that Drunky McDrunkface can waddle up to your place of worship, piss all over it and cause it to start to collapse onto itself means your religion ain’t shit. God wouldn’t let that happen. He’d throw a lightning bolt up Drunky McDrunkface’s ass before he could get his dick outta his pants. Nobody is watching over your scared place if acidic urine can cause absolute chaos. If anything, the people of that church should immediately start worshipping Drunky McDrunkface. He’s the one with the super powers who can make all of your prayers come true. He’s got supernatural urine. That’s more deity-like than anything Jesus or Martin Luther ever did. Oh Jesus walked on water? Show me the YouTube clip of that. Nothing? Didn’t happen then. Guys pissing on the base of a church and causing it to erode is happening right now. Or just worship nature. Nature stays winning. Nature made humans, humans drink whiskey, whiskey turns into piss which in-turn is toppling Lutheranism. It’s science.