Swaggy P Says A Dolphin Tried To Kill Him And Steal Iggy Azalea Away From Him
LOS ANGELES — Nick Young strolled in late to the Lakers‘ locker room Tuesday at Staples Center, a little more than an hour before tipoff of their 106-96 loss to the Denver Nuggets. The Lakers‘ reserve guard wore a huge smile, as usual, and a black sweater with the word “ROMANTIC” stretched across the front, a timely message with Valentine’s Day looming and with Young recently saying he just needs some “love” this month to get his slumping game back on track. Young then proceeded to stand in front of his locker and, with complete seriousness, recount an instance in which, he said, a dolphin tried to kill him. The subject was broached following a tweet Monday by his girlfriend, rapper Iggy Azalea, who proclaimed, “Nick is scared of dolphins.” Young said his near-death experience occurred in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, although he didn’t specify when. “He was playing with everybody else, doing what dolphins do — the ‘ack ack’ and all that,” Young said. “It was my time to ride the dolphin. For some reason, he took me all the way to the bottom. He was trying to drown me. But I saw it happening so I jumped out of the water and took off the little life vest and threw off my little water shoes and stayed outside.” Young said the dolphin took others around in circles but didn’t do the same when it was his turn to interact with it. “He went straight down,” Young said. “He was trying to kill me. I think he was trying to get on Iggy. He was a little friendly, kissing her and stuff. He was trying to take my woman.”
You know what, Swaggy P? I actually believe you here. Nick Young is an odd bird who says some weird shit but he couldn’t be more right on here. That dolphin tried to kill him. It makes more sense than you think. Aren’t people always saying how smart dolphins are? How they’re smarter than humans or some shit? I swear, whenever the topic of dolphins is brought up in any conversation somebody will, without fail, pop their head in and say, “Dolphins are smarter than humans, don’t chaknow?” Seriously. Bring up dolphins with anybody and that’ll happen. Well here’s another example of how smart they are. Nick and Iggy showed up to the dolphin place, the dolphin got one look at Iggy’s ass and decided to kill Nick Young to get to her. It’s that simple. Have you seen Iggy’s ass? People have killed for much MUCH less. I’d drown a couple of my close friends for a chance at that. So some dude I don’t know? Done. He’s dead. Point’em out. That’s what this dolphin was thinking. And, I don’t know if you’ve heard but some African Americans have trouble swimming. So the dolphin thought this would be easy. Take Swaggy down to the bottom, let his lungs fill with water and he’d be fin-deep in Iggy by lunch. I get it.
You’re telling me you wouldn’t knock off a couple of your buddies for a chance with Iggy? Yeah, you would. Your friends aren’t that cool.
