Review: Cookie Dough Oreos

Boom!  Mother fucking cookie dough Oreos.  I finally got my grubby paws on a package of these elusive cookies.  They were actually harder to find than I thought.  All of the websites said they came out on February 3rd (Quick note: let’s go ahead and suspend the belief that checking the release date of a cookie like it’s a Bruno Mars album is weird.  It’ll make things go a lot smoother.).  So on the 3rd I went to my local grocery with a little extra pep in my step.  Just the type of day where nothing can bring you down.  Well, except one thing, like the store not having cookie dough Oreos.  You can imagine my disappointment when they didn’t have them.  Pure devastation.  Turns out cookies and music albums don’t follow the same release procedure.  An album comes out, you go to your local Sam Goody, pick it up and jam out in your car.  A new Oreo cookie flavor comes out, you go the store, it’s not there, you ask the 85 year-old lady behind the register what the fuck is going on and you leave with your tail between your legs before they call the cops.

Luckily my saving grace came in the form of a text message this morning from a buddy of mine who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows when Oreo shipments are coming into Target stores.  You’re damn right I have a cookie guy.  If you don’t, step your game up.  He told me they were coming in today and I hadn’t finished reading the text before my legs involuntarily started walking towards my car.

So here we are.  Cookies are in my possession.  Let’s review these little nuggets of goodness.  The best way to do this is for me to sit here eat pretty much the whole package and then just shoot from the hip.

Opening the package now………

Currently eating a number of Oreos that all but guarantees the removal of a few of my limbs…….

Review time.

Review:

Honestly, they’re pretty fucking good.  We’re not talking Top 3 great but they’re somewhere in the Top 7.  I was worried they would taste nothing like cookie dough because I’d heard from a few people on Twitter that they tasted more like coffee than cookie dough.  Those people need to get their taste buds checked.  They taste exactly like cookie dough and that’s awesome.  I spent may days as a child huddled over a bowl of raw cookie dough and eating spoonfuls while my mom yelled at me.  These Oreos are super rich and it’s hard to eat a lot them.  Just kidding.  I ate half the package.  But for someone who doesn’t have their sites set on developing diabetes it might be hard to eat a lot of them.  They’re obviously better with milk because that’s just how the world works.  Will I buy them again?  Probably but it won’t be my first choice.

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Final rating: 7/10

PS- Still the GOAT.