Not Even A Fake Tony The Tiger Commercial About Hookers Can Ruin Frosted Flakes For Me

Nice try! I feel like some people’s reaction to that fake Tony the Tiger ad will be, “Welp, that ruined Frosted Flakes for me” because it’s about hookers and blow jobs and how hookers can give better blow jobs if they eat Frosted Flakes.  Well not me.  Why?  Because Frosted Flakes can’t be ruined. It’s on of the GOATS.  It’s one of those cereals that, when you’ve already been standing in the cereal aisle for too long and strangers are starting to get concerned*, you say “fuck it” and grab FF. It’s always good. You know you won’t be disappointed. Cinnamon toast crunch is the same way. You could tell me the main ingredient in Frosted Flakes is zebra cum and I’d still grab two boxes off the shelf and eat them for every meal. That’s the truth, truth.  So a little ad about Tony the Tiger moonlighting as a pimp and hookers giving awesome blow jobs after a bowl of FF isn’t gonna do shit. I’m absolutely buying Frosted Flakes when I go to the store later.

*This happens to me every goddamn time I’m at the store.  Everything else is so easy. Milk, bread, pasta, frozen pizzas blah blah blah. I can just snatch those off the shelf cause I know exactly what I want.  Then I make the turn into the cereal aisle and I’m there for 45+ minutes. Back and forth.  Back and forth. You’d think I was choosing which of my parents I wanted killed. There have been times where I simply get frustrated and have to finish the rest of my shopping then go back and try again. Picking which cereal to buy is stressful until you remember most cereals are fucking delicious and whatever you choose is gonna be fine. Trust yourself.