I Hate This Guy Who Claims He's Made 15 Million Dollars By Diving For Golf Balls

Mirror- If you think your job is hard – this man dodges alligators for a living. Glenn Berger’s bizarre but lucrative business sees him dive down in the water hazards off some of Florida’s finest golf courses to sell on lost golf balls. The 40-year-old claims he’s collected 15 million of them in a 14 year career to sell them on for a profit. Depending on the type of ball he could make as little as 25 cents (around 15p) or as much as $2 (£1.30). But while Glenn hasn’t disclosed exactly how wealthy he is, shipping two million balls a year internationally at those rates means he can’t be short of a bob or two. He said: “It’s a great job. I’ve had a few run-ins with alligators – they’re a hazard in my line of work but it’s all worthwhile. “They’ll float over me while I’m on the bottom but sometimes they’re curious – especially the smaller ones, they’ll dive down and bump me on the tank just to see what I am. “Scuba diving is a dangerous activity as it is but when you add no visibility, no lifeline and alligators looking for a meal it only gets worse. “I just try to not to think about them and focus on picking up golf balls.” During the dives 6ft 8ins, 18st Glenn wears a black and blue wet suit, weights and an air tank he paints in a camouflage pattern to hide from any curious gators.

I hate this guy for a couple reasons.  One, I don’t think it’s true. 15 million dollars?! For collecting golf balls from ponds?  Noooooooo way. I realize that’s over the course of 14 years but there’s still no fucking way has this guy made 15 million dollars. Open the books. I wanna see proof. Let’s see some receipts. I want this dude audited to find out exactly how much he’s made over the years. I bet it doesn’t even come close to 15 million dollars. We can’t have people lying about this stuff. I don’t know why I think that but I do.  Also, if he’s really making 1 million dollars per year doing this we would’ve heard about him before now. That would’ve made the news long before he supposedly is sitting on 15 mill.I don’t wanna come out and say this guy is a drug dealer but he might be a drug dealer.

Second, and this is assuming the 15 million is a real number (which it isn’t), I hate this guy because it’s such a simple idea. A simple idea that I should’ve come up with. Weekend hackers hit balls into the water non stop.  NON stop. How could I not think of this?  Me and guys like me are slamming money into this guy’s pants pockets by the fistful. Even if he hasn’t made 15 million he’s clearly making enough to pay the bills. That’s all that really matters. What a life. Head to the golf course, strap on a some scuba gear, head butt an alligator and boom you just paid your rent. There are way worse ways to earn a buck. And if he actually is a millionaire then I might kill myself for not coming up with this idea first.