Golfer In Utah Gets Stabbed And Sent To The Hospital After A Fight Over Slow Play

(KUTV) A man was taken to Utah County Jail Saturday night after a fight broke out among golfers in Payson. According to Lieutenant Bill Wright with Payson Police, around 8:20 p.m. Saturday night a group of four golfers were playing ahead of a 61-year-old Lee Johnson and his his wife. The man and woman thought that the group was going too slow and wanted to play through, but the group did not want them too. Wright says a fight broke out and the club house was called out and resolved the dispute. Around the ninth hole, Johnson and his wife caught up with part of the group and thought they would be allowed to play through, but again the group refused. Johnson then pulled a pocket knife and stabbed one person, Wright said. He was wrestled to the ground by the other golfer from the group. According to Wright, one man received a small cut. Wright said the victim was sent to Mountain View hospital with non life-threatening injuries.

Congratulations, everybody. We did it. We found the whitest crime of all time. A 61-year-old guy pulling out a Swiss army knife and stabbing somebody because of slow play at a golf course in fucking Utah. The only thing that would make that whiter was if they happened to be covered in nutella at the time. Other than that, it’s as white as the driven snow.That’s gotta be the most gangsta thing that’s happened in Utah since who knows when. Maybe ever. Gotta be the crime of the century for them. The guy who went to jail was probably like Freddy from The Night Of in there. Instantly ran the joint. I understand it, though. Groups who don’t let smaller groups play through are the fucking worst. Just let them go. It’s better for everybody. Otherwise you’re gonna have weird interactions with those people at every tee box and you won’t be able to enjoy your round. So much weirdness that it might even boil over into a brawl like this did. Let them play through and you won’t get stabbed with a tiny pocket knife. Also, not to sound like a hard ass, but needing to go to the hospital cause of a pocket knife wound is hilarious.