Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Brought A Stuffed Owl To Court To Be His Lawyer?
Metro- We think it’s fair to assume one man wasn’t taking his trial very seriously when he announced that his stuffed owl would be acting as his lawyer. Aspen, Colorado, man Charles Abbott was in court accused of violating a protection order involving his former roommate, Michael Stranahan. Abbott was alleged to have entered Mr Stranahan’s room while he was out of town and retrieved some belongings. Taking his seat in court on Tuesday, Abbott sat a fuzzy horned owl on the defence table with him, telling the court its name was Solomon and it would be representing him in court, the Aspen Times reports. Incredibly, Pitkin County Court Judge Erin Fernandez-Ely ignored the owl, instead asking the victim if he would be willing to amend the protection order to allow mediation. He wasn’t. The hearing ended with the protection order remaining as it was. Abbott was told he may attend the same church as Mr Stranahan as long as he doesn’t have contact with him.
Love it. I don’t know much about the law or how the legal system works but I know one thing that almost always works: confusion. Just confuse everybody. Do that and you get them off their game right out of the gate. Hard to think of anything that would throw people off their game more than walking into a courtroom, slamming a stuffed owl on the table and being like, “This is my legal counsel. He’s the Johnny Cochran of birds. Let’s get this thing started.” All of a sudden, the discussion switches from guilty or not guilty to “Did this mother fucker just bring a stuffed owl in and say it’s his lawyer?” It’s genius. They all instantly forget what they’re even there for. And, if the trial starts to go against you in some way, just plead insanity. Done and done. The stuffed owl covers all bases at once. So next time you find yourself in a jam don’t do what normal people do and hire a real lawyer. Only do that if you wanna lose. Bring a stuffed owl and show them who’s boss.
PS- There’s no way that guy was thinking any of the things I typed. He for sure just brought a stuffed owl into the court room because that’s what his brain told him to do.