7-Eleven Is Trying To Make Breakfast Pizza A Thing Even Though It's Already A Thing
Munchies- While Starbucks hopes that its new sous vide egg bites can save its breakfast menu, 7-Eleven is opting for an early morning item that isn’t boiled inside a plastic baggie. The Texas-based convenience store chain is now serving breakfast pizza, because it wants to give you a slightly classier version of eating cold leftovers from a cardboard box. The breakfast pizza starts with a biscuit crust, then tops it with smoked bacon, sausage, hickory smoked ham, scrambled eggs, cheddar and mozzarella cheese and—because you’re probably already on Lipitor—it’s covered in a peppered cream gravy. It will be available either by the slice or as an entire pie, because 7-Eleven knows that you can’t hate yourself all day unless you start first thing in the morning. “This is a hearty option for customers craving a warm breakfast in addition to their fresh-brewed cup of coffee on cold mornings,” Nancy Smith, 7-Eleven’s senior vice president of fresh food and proprietary beverages, said in a statement. “And it’s great for sharing at the office, giving co-workers another great option from the usual box of great donuts.”
I’m pretty mad about this. I’m mad about it because 7-Eleven is acting like Casey’s breakfast pizza doesn’t even exist. That ain’t right. That’s a personal slap in the face to me. Casey’s makes the best breakfast pizza on the planet and that’s a scientific fact. It’s the GOAT and it’s not even close. Some of the east coast people reading this blog might not know what I’m talking about but anyone from the middle of the map is nodding in agreement right now. It’s a goddamn shame that Casey’s and their breakfast pizza only exist in the Midwest (although I sneaky like it that way cause it’s ours). But if it were a national brand it would blow 7-Eleven outta the fucking water. Which brings me to my next point, I will never ever ever ever ever eat a piece of 7-Eleven breakfast for as long as I live. I won’t do it. It’s called loyalty. It’s called having pride. I refuse to cheat on my Midwest brethren. Certain parts of me may change now that I’m in NYC (prob not though) but I will never eat a piece of breakfast pizza that doesn’t come fresh out of a Casey’s gas station oven.
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PS- Bacon. Always bacon. #NeverSausage