Top 3 Worst Mornings Of My Life, And Its All Dunkin Donuts' Fault

Here is what my morning should have looked like:

Here’s what that dickhead Kmarko is doing:

Game time, lets do this twitter.com/Kmarkobarstool…

— Kmarko (@Kmarkobarstool) June 7, 2013

And here’s how my morning went:

(Vertical Video, just for you guys. I know how much you love them)

Not participating. I fucking knew that was gonna happen. The special sandwich currently being served at my Dunkin Donuts is chicken bacon ranch. Because if there’s one fucking place I wanna get fried chicken its a goddam Dunkin Donuts. I was all set this morning to sit down and discuss the intricacies of this unholy union and instead I’m left soaking in the rain like a dickhead. People are tweeting at me to just go to another oen. Theres a Dunkin on 86th or 89th that I could try if I was going to be a fucking loser sheep and traipse around the city. One all the way over on York which is basically like walking to Long Island City. But I’m not gonna run around like a chicken with his dick cut off for Dunkin Donuts. I’m not gonna walk all over until I find a place that decides to participate. I’m not a sucker like that. They spit in the Donut King’s face and now its their loss. Its National Donut Day for fucks sake. There should be no limitations on anything Donut related.

Back to old faithful. You always know what you’re getting with Entenmanns.