Today Is Actually Scientifically The Most Depressing Day Of The Year
Daily Mail – You’ve finished all the mince pies, the weather is terrible, Christmas ended up being horribly expensive and most of us are back to the daily grind. So it wouldn’t come as a surprise if you had started to feel down in the dumps. But don’t worry, you aren’t alone, because today is Blue Monday – supposedly the most miserable day of the year. Blue Monday was originally identified in 2005 by academic Cliff Arnall, who thought it fell on the last full week of January. He calculated the date using a variety of factors including weather conditions, debt levels, failed New Year’s resolutions and the number of days that had elapsed since the end of the Christmas holidays. But over the past three years, researchers analysed more than 2million tweets posted by Britons in January looking for negative language and phrases indicating a drop in mood. They found that today, there will be nearly five times the average number of tweets relating to guilt, as people abandon their promises to pursue a healthier lifestyle. The analysis, by drinks company Upbeat, also found complaints about the weather will be six times higher than usual – and men will feel more miserable than women. Today has also been dubbed Divorce Monday by legal experts. It is the most popular day of the year for starting divorce proceedings. And January is the busiest divorce month, with twice as many divorces being filed as the second most popular month September.
You think I need some British “researchers” to tell me today is the most miserable day of the year? Anyone with a brain and a single shred of a decent life knows this. Its cold as fuck and all the vacation days and holiday fun comes to a fucking screeching halt. How was everyone’s commute today? Let me guess – you watched 2 busses go by and 2 subways go by because they were too crowded? And there was a couple shouting matches and fights between people trying to shove their way to the front of the lines? Because 100% of the workforce is back today cramming into the same amount of busses and trains and its fucking Lord of the Flies when these cube monkey members of the Walking Dead think they’re gonna be 30 minutes late to work. Everyone’s boss is back in the office, and they are riding everyone’s ass to get shit done now that Christmas and New Years can’t be used as an excuse any more. Oh and apparently everyone and their mother files for divorce today too. Oh and don’t worry! Its gonna be fucking 5 degrees out tonight.
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I don’t need researchers combing through millions of tweets and analyzing trending keywords to tell me today is rock bottom. If you’re not homeless and have any level of enjoyment the other 364 days you know this is as bad as it gets.
PS – The same researchers deemed these the best days of the year:
December 24 and 25 – Christmas – 100
January 1 – New Years Day – 91
February 14 – Valentine’s Day – 81 (mentions of love up by 187 per cent)
April 20 – First sunny weekend of the year – 72 (mentions of sun up by 12 per cent and BBQ food and drink by 13 per cent)