Time To See What All The Fuss Is About With The Cronut Craze

So after Tueday’s blog about the people who were waiting in line for iPhones, we quickly saw a dude on camera who said he was actually a professional Line Waiter specifically for shit like this. Turns out a Stoolie had used him just last week and emailed me.

give me a delivery address-I’ll have him courier some Cronuts over to you to aid in your spine recovery – it’s not a helicopter to the hamptons – but no one ever got stage two diabetes from a helicopter ride

Nect thing I know its 8:45 this morning and my doorbell rings. Open the door to Line Waiter Guy who yells Viva La Stool at me and hands me donuts. This is the #SkinnyFat life folks. Getting pastries delivered to your front door.

As for the Cronut itself:

4. Now don’t get me wrong, its tasty. Its actually very tasty. You can here the crispy snap in that video when I take a bite. The icing on top is legit. Its filled with some sort of mix of jelly and like a cream cheese based icing. But it gets a 4 based on the hype surrounding. The Failure to live up to the hype knocks you down like 3 or 4 pegs immediately. I mean the fact that I had another human wake up this morning and wait on line for me to get these is a travesty. They are standard tasty donuts. You have to be legitimately a complete fucking lunatic to wait on line over night for one or something like that. More or less its a normal, gourmet donut. But I’d still rather have a rich frosted from Entenmanns or a chocolate frosted or glazed from Dunkin. Fuck give me a box of mini white powdered donuts from Hostess and I’d be happy. No need for the 7am line waiting fiasco.

Shout out to the Line Waiting Guy though. He was really awesome. I was nervous for a second. I had no idea who was gonna show up at my door. He could have just murdered me. But then I remember that I give out my address and have delivery men come by literally all day long and this was no different. I spoke with him for a little bit – this is just his side gig and he’s willing to wait on line for literally anything. iPhones, cronuts, he said he’ll wait on line for new shoes and stuff if your girl wants to buy some new fancy ones. He’ll wait for tickets, whatever. Not sure what his rate is but he’s a really cool dude. Highly recommended if you’re ever too lazy to wait on your own fucking lines.  You can find him on twitter @Sold_Inc or just text him (347) 744-WAIT

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PS – I just love the fact that he probably goes home counting his money like “I love these dumb lazy white people who can’t wait for their own donuts.” Amazing. His business is as American as it gets. Land of the free, home of the lazy.