"Things Millennial Guys Love" Might Be The Worst List On The Internet
Ordinarily I wouldn’t blog this, because I know thats all that websites like Buzzfeed care about. Churn out garbage lists and galleries and as long as people share them, mission accomplished. Its the cheapest gimmick on the internet but it puts asses in the seats and pays the bills so I’m not gonna knock that. But this one here from some chick over at Buzzfeed was such a piece of garbage I needed to call it out. As a “Millennial” (I had to look it up – that means born from early 80s to 2000) Guy and a blogger, this list was so off it made my teeth hurt.
Kate Upton
Bowties
Bioshock Infinite
David Foster Wallace
Mansplaining Bitcoin
Texting the word “K”
Fantasy sports teams for sports they would never ever play.
The Wire
Going to EDM shows so they can quasi-ironically grind
Android Phones
Boat Shoes
Redtube
Ray Bans
Kid Cudi
American Apparel tri-blend V-necks.
Game of Thrones
Childish Gambino
These Boots
Brewing their own beer
Louis CK
Jorts
Absolutely atrocious effort here. I’m not sure whether its because shes a chick and chick’s are clueless as to what dudes actually like, or if its just because she’s listing out trash for Buzzfeed, but that has to be the most incorrect depiction of guys of all time. I’d say Kate Upton and Game of Thrones are just about the only 2 things on there that you could say applies broadly to 20 and 30 something dudes. For God’s sake she even fucked up the one about porn. “Redtube?” Fucking Redtube? Whats the matter? Was Youjizz, Pornhub, Youporn, Xvideos and the 50,000 other porn websites I’d go to before Redtube down for the day or something? Bowties? Jorts? Tri Blend V Necks? These are just things that asshole hipsters and Feitelberg would wear. Androids are for poor people, brewing your own beer is the biggest douchebag move on the planet, no dude on the planet texts “K,” I have no idea what Bitcoin is, and last but not least:
David Foster Wallace? Who the fuck is that?
All this chick did was ask all her Buzzfeed girl coworkers what their boyfriends like and since they are all undoubtedly hipster assholes this is the list she came up with. And the sickest part of all is there are probably tons of chicks out there who read this thinking they now know what the average dude is all about. Some poor bastard is gonna get a David Foster Wallace book, a home beer brewing kit, and some jorts for his birthday and his girlfriend is gonna think she knocked it out of the park. Happy birthday baby! You’re so millennial!