Yahoo – You may think saying your husband looks cute trying to fix the lawn mower is music to his ears, but he’s hearing a different tune. Women’s words of praise can sit the wrong way with their spouses. Sometimes emotional responses, like frustration and excitement, creep into compliments and unintentionally wound guys’ pride. “When giving a compliment, put it in the best light possible to show you really appreciate him,” says Match.com relationship expert Whitney Casey. Here, experts dish on 10 compliments that could use a man-friendly makeover.
1. “It’s so sweet you want to help me clean up, but I can do it faster myself.”
While you may have certain chores down to a science, your man may not. Be gracious when he offers to ease the load, and don’t comment on his glacial pace.
2. “I’m amazed you were able to fix the leaky faucet.”
Don’t act surprised when he pulls off a project without professional help. “Telling a man you’re ‘shocked’ by his capabilities is a huge hit to his self-esteem,”
3. “I fold the laundry this way, but thanks for trying without me asking.”
Nix “trying” from your complimentary vocabulary. “He thinks he’s done something great by pitching in, but that gets shot down quickly when he takes ‘trying’ as ‘it wasn’t good enough.’
4. ” You’re the only person I can talk to.”
Avoid putting such a hefty emotional load on your man. He doesn’t want to be your girlfriends, mom and sister all rolled into one.
5. “You’re so cute!”
Your man would rather not be lumped into the same category as puppies and babies
6. “This gift isn’t quite my taste, but it’s the thought that counts.”
Tell him he’s thoughtful, yes. But even if the necklace he chose for Valentine’s Day is the last piece of jewelry you would’ve picked, stay mum.
7. “It’s like you’re my third child but I love you anyway.”
Saying you adore him in spite of his faults by tacking “but I love you” onto a dis is “totally passive-aggressive,” says Goldstein.
8. “My husband did the most romantic thing ever.”
Don’t gush too much to your friends about your man’s private gesture. Word travels fast, from your girls to his guys.
9. “I love your tummy flab!”
If you were raving about Ryan Gosling’s six-pack yesterday, your husband will hear mixed messages and won’t know what to believe.
10. “You’re the best I’ve ever had.”
He wants to pleasure you in bed, but he doesn’t want to think about the men from your past.
You know whats absolutely insane? The fact that chicks sit around thinking about shit like this. Nice ways to compliment your man. Mean ways to compliment your man. What makes him feel good, what hurts his feelings. Are you broads fucking serious right now?? Truth be told your man who probably just be happiest if you stopped talking to him all together. Forget the compliments, forget the put downs. Just shut the fuck up in general and he’ll probably be as happy as a clam. A quiet, peaceful clam. I mean I spend every single minute of my day getting my balls busted for being a lazy eyed double chin idiot who flushed his life down the toilet. If anyone says anything remotely nice to me, I’m good. But for the sake of the blog, lets go one by one. 10 compliments you shouldn’t tell your man, KFC Style
1. “It’s so sweet you want to help me clean up, but I can do it faster myself.” - Sounds good to me, bitch! I’m not washing the dishes fast enough? Have at it, Speed Racer! I’m not cleaning right? Go ahead, Mrs. Clean! The fact that chicks haven’t caught on to the fact that we do chores and shit slow and sloppy on purpose so that they don’t ever ask us to do them is baffling. I’m pretty sure we’ve been purposely setting the bar low for like 5,000 years now and they still haven’t caught on. There I am putting shampoo in the sink scrubbing dishes with toilet paper waiting for her to tell me she’ll take care of it, and still no red flags. Dummies.
2. “I’m amazed you were able to fix the leaky faucet.” – Me fucking too! I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know how to do that shit. Changing tires, fixing the plumbing yadda yadda. So yea, you’re amazed, I’m amazed and anybody in the 21st century who isn’t poor and just pays people to fix shit for them is amazed too.
3. “I fold the laundry this way, but thanks for trying without me asking.” - Again, still not comprehending how men work at all, ladies. Guys only do chores and clean and do laundry to get credit for doing it. If it was up to us, we’d just wear wrinkled shirts pulled right out of the wash and fold laundromat bag because we didn’t wanna do laundry in the first place. If you give me a “Good Job, Good Effort” for trying to do the laundry, my mission is accomplished. Have fun re-folding everything you OCD maniac! My work here is done!
4. ” You’re the only person I can talk to.” - This is not a “compliment.” This is a death sentence. Even if its true, don’t ever say it.
5. “You’re so cute!”- Please refer to everything I said earlier. I get called ugly and fat and shit all day every day, 24/7. I havent picked up a weight or run a minute in about 6 years. I’m a smut blogger. You think I expect some chick to tell me I’m sexy or something? “You’re so manly and shredded?” For sure not. I’ll take “you’re so cute!” as often as I can get it.
6. “This gift isn’t quite my taste, but it’s the thought that counts.” Return it and get something you like. Trust me, I absolutely do not give a fuck.
7. “It’s like you’re my third child but I love you anyway.” – Uhh, this just isn’t a compliment. Sounds like a backhanded way to call someone retarded or something. But guess what? If I’m your third child, that means we’ve already got 2 kids. Which means our lives are probably miserable as is. Call me whatever you’d like. I’ve already hit rock bottom.
8. “My husband did the most romantic thing ever.” - I understand the idea that guys are gonna make fun of you, but fuck that noise. If I do something romantic everybody better fucking know about it. Call your friends, call your mother. Tell everyone you know. Earns me a little bit of slack for the next time I inevitably fuck up.
9. “I love your tummy flab!” - Well I fucking hope so, because guess what? It ain’t going anymore. In fact, probably gonna see a lot more of it.
10. “You’re the best I’ve ever had.” - While its true I don’t really wanna think about you banging dudes in your past, it is DEFINITELY OK to tell me you’re the best I’ve ever had. Don’t care if its true or not. Just do your best Meryl Streep and tell me I’m the biggest and best you’ve ever had. Or don’t. Because guess what? I stopped caring about being good in bed about 10 years ago. Sex is always the best for me.
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