Reader Email - I Tried To Hire Smash Mouth As My Wedding Band

Yo KFC,

Check out this correspondance I’ve had with Smash Mouth’s booking agent trying to get them to play at my wedding. I got his e-mail straight from the front page of their website so you can verify it’s legit. This might be the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Feel free to post but just delete my e-mail address, I don’t want those critters from the comment section e-mailing me.

viva
chris

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Hello,

I recently proposed to my long time girlfriend and we are both HUGE Smash Mouth fans. I was hoping to see if they were available to book for our wedding. We don’t have an exact date nailed down yet, but we’re looking to do it in September of 2015. Would you be able to send me some information on transportation and cost? Also if they are available, can you let me know which dates might work? We will try and schedule the wedding around that.

Thanks!
Chris
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Sorry for the delay. Still digging out. The fee required for such an event would be considerable. Figure on 40K plus local sound, lights, staging, backline, two nights hotel for ten people and local ground transportation. Plz let me know if you’d like to discuss it further.

Thanks

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Any wiggle room there? Sugar Ray quoted me $25k..

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Chris

If you had travel, hotel and backline covered plus were able to do local sound and lights I would likely be able to match Sugar Ray’s fee.

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My best man said he could pick them up from the airport and let them crash at his place. He’ll even let Steve sleep in his bed, the rest have to crash on the couches though. We will also take care of lighting, sound, etc. And if they agree to do a cover of Sugar Ray’s “Fly” then I think we have a deal…

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I’m guessing you’re joking, right?

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Not at all, but a hotel for 10 people for 2 nights is a bit pricey and my buddy has very comfortable couches…is the hotel a deal breaker?

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The hotel is a deal breaker. Plus I have ten people traveling with some equipment. A pro van, fifteen seater is required. Additionally, I think you’d really need to look at the technical rider. This isn’t a band that just sets up on the floor and rocks out. And, lastly, all due respect, they’re not going to do a Sugar Ray cover.

Thanks

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I’ll do 5 rooms in a hotel, they have to bunk up..and I can respect them not covering sugar ray (despite all of the other covers they’ve done), but let’s compromise. They agree to play “Tubthumping” and we have a deal..Smash Mouth and Chumbawamba have a similar sound anyway. A wise man once said “You’ll never know if you don’t go, you’ll never shine if you don’t glow”, so let’s make this happen.

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Thanks but no thank you.

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You’ve knocked me down, but I’ll get up again..you’re never gonna keep me down.

Fyi I’ve already put a deposit down on the spoonman from the Soundgarden video to come perform at the wedding…much more entertaining then smash moth would be.

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Sounds liked you have found a nice match, so by all means, enjoy the spooning.

Note, it is not my intention to be a jerk. My responsibility is to represent Smash Mouth for live performance opportunities. Operating a band on a day to day basis is an expensive endeavor. There are hired musicians, crew, business managers, rehearsal spaces and studio time and on and on and on. It all adds up very quickly. Smash Mouth is 20 years old this Summer. The band regularly gets 30 to 50K per show. When someone starts to jam me down on the price, then asks for the band to play someone else’s songs, for their wedding, and suggest they bunk with one of the groomesmen or suggest that adult male’s share hotel rooms, well I think you can see where I am going with this. Good luck on the wedding.

Such a bizarre and ridiculous chain of emails you can’t help but just tip your cap to this kid’s troll game. Sometimes I don’t know where you idiots come up with these ideas or how you have the wherewithal to follow through on it but trolling Smash Mouth’s booking manager for like 10 consecutive emails takes some persistence. But a couple things jumped out at me right away:

A) 50k a wedding is bananas! Nice little racket Smash Mouth is running here. Probably still cashing royalty checks from Shrek and just cleaning up 50 large a weekend in the summer to play for a few hours. Its basically like retirement for them and their social security is 50k a night.

B) Stooping down to Sugar Ray’s level of 25K was borderline pitiful. I mean I know everything is negotiable for a wedding but to drop that much after one email is just flat out poor negotiating. If thats me I’m telling Chris and Sugar Ray to go fuck themselves. Oh Sugar Ray will do $25,000? Well Smash Mouth wipes their ass with 25,000. How about that you little prick?

You know deep down though this guy knew that nothing Smash Mouth ever did could compete with “Fly” so he probably knew he had to fold.

C) You’re absolutely kidding yourself if you don’t think the dance floor would be rockin the minute they played Walkin On The Sun or All Star. Nobody is like a true, diehard fan of Smash Mouth songs. Those aren’t tunes you seek out on your iPod. But you better believe when they fire those up at a wedding the roof comes off.