Panda Fakes Being Pregnant To Get Extra Bamboo

NEWSER) – A panda research center in China called off what would have been the first-ever live broadcast of a panda birth after determining that panda Ai Hin wasn’t pregnant—just crafty. Pregnant pandas at the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding get special treatment, and while “phantom pregnancies” among pandas are fairly common, experts suspect Ai Hin was actually faking symptoms, including reduced mobility, to get herself treats like extra bamboo, CNN reports. “After showing prenatal signs, the ‘mothers-to-be’ are moved into single rooms with air conditioning and around-the-clock care,” an expert at the base explains. “They also receive more buns, fruits, and bamboo, so some clever pandas have used this to their advantage to improve their quality of life.” There are just 1,600 giant pandas left in the wild, so the breeding program is crucial to the species’ survival, though only around a quarter of captive female pandas give birth, AFP notes. (One person who took a surprising interest in panda sex: Richard Nixon.)

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, worse than a bitch who fakes pregnancy. I dont care if you’re some chick trying to get a ring or get an ex back or a giant panda trying to get extra bamboo. Theres just a certain line you dont cross and pretending you’re knocked up is one of them. I mean how do you think all those other pandas feel about you now? You’re just some ratchet THOT panda trying to bogart all the bamboo. Whole fucking species is on the verge of extinction and Ai Hin just wants all the bamboo and buns and fruits for herself. Keep up that act, bitch. Keep faking reduced mobility and shit for all the panda snacks. When all your panda friends are fucking dead and you’re the only bitch left on earth you won’t think you’re so clever.