Orthodox Jew Wraps Himself In Plastic On Airplane

Gothamist – A Redditor posted the above photo of an Orthodox Jewish man who did just that on a recent flight. Poster “FinalSay” initially assumed the man was covering up because he was in front of women, but others pointed out that it is much more likely that the man is a “Kohen”, who are holy priests (or descended from them). Kohen’s are prohibited from flying over cemeteries (“A kohen initially was not supposed to approach any dead body, and if he did so he became ritually impure”), which as you can imagine, could be a major problem for travel. According to Haaretz, Rabbi Yosef Shalom Eliashiv, the leader of the Lithuanian Haredi community in Israel, “found a solution to this issue, ruling that wrapping oneself in thick plastic bags while the plane crossed over the cemetery is permissible.”

Don’t you hate when you get stuck next to the fat guy on an airplane? Or a crying baby? Or a Lithuanian Orthodox Jewish Kohen who needs to wrap himself in thick plastic bags because your flight is crossing over a cemetery? Thats the worst. I bet there were Al Qeada guys on that plane that were like “What the fuck is going on here?”

How much of a fucking lunatic do you have to be to believe that A) going near a cemetery will make you “impure” and B) wrapping yourself in a plastic bag will prevent the evil dead spirits from reaching you? You think evil spirits can’t handle a little Ziploc? You think if you wrap yourself in some body condom Rabbi Rubber that you won’t catch a disease from the cemetery? That ain’t how it works, Kohen. Those spirits are gonna get you if they want to bro.

PS – I would give like $5,000 to have video of him ordering some peanuts and a drink from the flight attendant and watch him snack underneath his plastic bag.