KFC Radio Episode 50: Would You Rather Be Trapped In Jurassic Park Or Inside The World Of Jumanji?
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One of the best, most creative questions we’ve had in a long time. This is when KFC Radio is at its best. Would you rather be trapped in the world of Jumanji or trapped in Jurassic Park? Probably one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had in the past 50 episodes. Takes some real analysis to figure this shit out. Lets list it out. First, the Cons.
Jurassic Park Cons
Raptors hunting your ass everywhere you go (Clever Girl.)
T Rex capable of eating you in one bite like that fucking goat. (Where’s the Goat!?)
Those little Dilophosaurus motherfuckers spitting poison into your face (I thought you were one of your big brothers, you’re not so bad)
Trapped on a secret island
Jurassic Park Pros
You’re still on the planet earth, ruled by the laws of reality
There are entire sections of the island inhabited by herbivore dinosaurs
You have access to guns, weapons, electronics, cars etc
You have shelter
We’re gonna go ahead and assume you’ll be in the park with Jeff Goldblum
Jumanji Cons
Giant Mosquitos
Ill tempered monkeys attacking you
Overgrown and violent vines connected to man eating pods
Big hunters trying to kill you
Monsoons and all types of destructive weather
Stampedes
Crocodiles
Quicksand
Big ass, scary fucking poisonous spiders
Jumanji Pros
I can’t think of one fucking pro of being inside the world of Jumanji. Literally anything can happen in there. You’re trapped inside a magical jungle of danger. Not governed by any of the rules we’re used to on earth. For all we know, there could be raptors and T Rex’s in the the Jumanji world. Then you’d basically be in Jumanji Park – an unstoppable hybrid of the 2 places.
So now its time to analyze. Jumanji seemingly has more Cons than Jurassic Park. But Jurassic Park’s cons are much more serious threats. Raptors and and T Rex’s are a bigger deal than you standard animals that you see at the Six Flags safari. But those giant poisonous spiders and the uncontrollable elements are just as dangerous, if not more dangerous, than any living creature. Although many breeds of dinosaurs, you’re facing one problem. Jumaji can be millions of enemies of all forms.
Pros are HEAVY in Jurassic Parks favor. Considering there are none for Jumanji. You’re alone in an uncontrollable jungle with no shelter or resources. Jurassic Park has security, scientists, guns, electronics, transportation. Really, when you think about it, if Newman didn’t shut off the security systems, there would never have been any problems it would have just been an awesome theme park completely under control.
One last point for Jumaji though – Allen Parrish survived in the jungle world for like 35 years and he was the fucking twirp of all twirps. Jurassic Park went to fucking shit after like 24 hours and that was with a team of geniuses and men with guns and security systesm. A trained dinosaur hunter couldn’t even outwit the raptors.
My Final Answer – Although Allen Parrish survived for 30 years on his own, Jumanji is simply too much of a wildcard. Living inside that nightmare alone with no weapons or resources is too much for anyone to willingly sign up for. I’ll take my chances at Jurassic Park. Like I said, just get the electric fences working again, and everything is under control. Worst case scenario, find me a nice little green pasture where the brontosauruses eat leaves and hang out there forever. I’ll take my chances on earth vs. the dinosaurs as opposed to an alternate world of fear and death.
Vote 1 for Rather be trapped in Jurassic Park Vote 10 for rather be trapped in the world of Jumanji
(451 votes, average: 2.42 out of 10)
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