Introducing The Vibrating Bicycle Seat
Daily Mail – We are always being told to incorporate more exercise into our daily routines – and cycling to work is an excellent way of doing so. And if you were reluctant to hit the pedals before, a new gizmo could provide all the incentive you need to get on your bike. A firm has launched the Happy Ride – a vibrating seat cover that will make journeys by bicycle that bit more exciting. The inconspicuous gadget slips over the seat of a bike and incorporates ‘vibration stimulation’ as you ride. Manufactured with a padded lining and black nylon fabric outer surface the cover, which houses a powerful vibrator, is designed to fit all seats. The gadget comes with an attached control pocket to raise or lower the vibration rate. The vibration can be turned on and off using the control pad which then tucks into a pocket in the seat cover allowing you to peddle away uninhibited. Launched by an adult toy retailer, the Happy Ride seat cover will certainly add a new dimension to riding a bike, though it does beg the question if the distraction of a vibrating seat might not be a little dangerous on a busy road.
Imagine a world where this was a good idea? Where you could bribe chicks to do stuff with anything sexual? Where it’s just as effective to grease broads for favors by flashing your mushroom tip from your b-ball shorts the same way they could by whipping a titty out of their tube top? That’d be nice. Instead, we’re dealing with the half of humanity who pass up on (the miraculous chance of) an orgasm because of a headache & have yet to realize they’d rule the world if they just sucked more dick. This isn’t gonna get pigs off the couch & in shape. Chicks couldn’t care less about pedaling a vibrator on wheels because getting their pussies worked just isn’t a motivator for them. Never has been & never will be. If “Happy Ride” got it right and somehow devised a bike that blew you, they’d have put the auto industry out of business. But their bean-bouncing banana seat is just a waste of time.