George RR Martin Says The Game Of Thrones Porn Parody Is More Soft Core Than His Actual Books

AV Club – Angling to claim the title of “most redundant porn parody” from that “porn version” of Fifty Shades Of Grey, the office firewall-tripping WoodRocket.com recently premiered a sorta-SFW trailer for Game Of Bones, an upcoming film that imagines what it would be like ifGame Of Thrones had approximately 10 percent more sex and nudity. Mostly the news prompted the question of whether the whole project was undertaken just to make a “Winter Is Cumming” joke—which, yes, probably. But it also made one wonder how George R.R. Martin might react to watching a porn version of his creation, before quickly remembering that this isn’t a mental image anyone particularly needs. But since you’ve already gone this far, it turns out Martin not only finds Game Of Bones redundant, he thinks it’s not nearly as smutty as his own imagination. “There is an incestuous relationship at the heart of Game Of Thrones and you find out about it pretty early in the first book,” Martin said during a recent appearance at the Santa Fe Independent Film Festival. “But in the porn version that they’re doing they’ve omitted the incest because that would just be too shocking. So my books are actually dirtier than the porn version!” As The Daily Dot notes, the director of Game Of Bones said he had to cut the Cersei and Jaime Lannister subplot because “we typically try to avoid incest as a running theme in porn,” deeming it far too “taboo.” In other words, porn has zero qualms about turning “The Red Wedding” into a bukkake scene, but hey, let’s leave incest to the sickos behind one of the most successful fantasy franchises in literature and HBO. 

Spoiler Alert for all you fucking assholes who expect me to talk about TV shows based on your schedules…stop now.

Basically in the first episode you watch a brother fuck his sister and a dwarf gangbang a whole house of whores. Khaleesi is hotter than any of the porn stars in that trailer. She rides dick like a pro – she could probably teach Tori Black a thing or two about cowgirl. I’ve routinely thought about jerking off to her and Khal Drogo. And that time Joffrey made those two hookers spank each other with that giant claw/staff thing:

was some kind of kinky shit that would have made Belladonna use her safe word. Bottom line is that fuzzy fat weirdo George RR Martin is kinkier than the entire porn industry. And really, the main problem is, when the actual Daenerys Targaryen is way hotter than anyone in the porno:

Advertisement

It just ain’t gonna work. Good bless that perverted little nerd George RR Martin and the hooker actresses HBO convinced to simulate sex on camera.