Fisherman Dies In Beaver Attack

Daily Mail - A fisherman enjoying a fishing trip with his friends was savaged to death by a beaver. The man was at Lake Shestakov in Belarus with two friends when they spotted the aquatic mammal by the side of the road. As he inched towards the animal to take a picture, it pounced on him, sinking its sharp teeth into the man’s thigh and severing a major artery, reports Sky News. His friends desperately tried to staunch the blood welling up from the wound but the animal’s bite and the man, from Brest, bled to death.

I’m not gonna sit here and tell you I could dominate in a beaver fight. Beavers look like mean son of a bitches. Big ass teeth. That big flat tail. They chew threw all sorts of shit. No reason they couldn’t chew right through my leg. But God what a fucking shitty way to go out. “Here lies the Fisherman from Belarus…Savaged To Death By A Beaver.” Thats not a good look on your tombstone. Thats not what you wanna see in your newspaper obituary. Mauled to death by a lion? Cool. You want out a warrior. Thrashed to death in shark infested waters? People will tell your story forever. “Savaged to death by a beaver?” Unless that means some chick fucked you to death with her pussy, you’re going out like a chump.