Huff Po – The legendary rock ‘n’ roll star behind the hit “The Twist” is suing Hewlett Packard over an app that measures penis size. Chubby Checker (real name Ernest Evans) has filed suit in Saint Lucie County (Fla.) Federal Court this week, alleging that Hewlett Packard and its subsidiary Palm, Inc. didn’t have permission to maintain the app called “The Chubby Checker.” According to a press release on MarketWatch, the 71-year-old’s lawyer Willie Gary claims Hewlett Packard and Palm did not act quickly enough to take down the penis-measuring app, and that by doing so, damaged Checker’s reputation: “The “app” adversely affects Chubby Checker’s brand and value and if allowed to continue, will cause serious damage to the Plaintiff’s goodwill and will tarnish his image that he has worked to maintain over the last 50 years,” the release states. “Chubby” can be slang for a semi-erect penis. The app was removed from the App Catalog in September 2012, according to WebOSNation, and is now only available through the website HouseOfPalm.com, which is not a property of Palm Inc. WebOSNation notes that while the legend’s lawyers have demanded damages, the $0.99 The Chubby Checker app was downloaded fewer than 100 times, so these “damages” would total about $90.
Chubby Checker looks so absurd in this picture he almost looks photoshopped. It looks like someone photoshopped a face into that fro and onto a white man’s body. But the fact that not only is that really him but he also rocks the denim joutfit with the shirt unbuttoned just made my Friday.
As far as this story – lets first all acknowledge that naming a dick measuring app The Chubby Checker is pure genius. Whoever came up with that name knocked it out of the park. Now the problem with these apps is that nobody in their right mind wants this thing. Because if you are in a position where you need to measure your dick, you’ve got a small dick. You know what I’m saying? If you had a huge dick you wouldn’t ever need to go measuring because you just know you got a howitzer. Its like checking your bank account. If you check your bank account down to the penny, you’re poor. Rich people don’t even know what their balance is. Personally I don’t ever wanna measure my dick because I don’t want the disappointment. Out of sight out of mind, ignorance is bliss.
But like I said, if I ever were to get into the dick measuring game, The Chubby Checker would be my tool of choice. You should be flattered, Chubby. Its free publicity and an honor to be a part of some creative genius. Now cue the motherfucking music you photoshopped freak!