Caption Contest

Gothamist – It was midnight, I had just gotten of the Metro North from New Haven, and began my long treck back to Bushwick. A trek starting with the 5 train to the Brooklyn Bridge. Things were going as usual, until out of the corner of my eye I noticed something a bit unusual. A scraggly dressed man reached into his sweatpants and displayed his balls for all to see. Immediately, I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed, perhaps someone would say something? Nope, I was the only one with the misfortune to look up from my Iphone. I tried to ignore it and began shuffling through my phone for something to distract me.  Then I noticed him take out a water bottle containing some weird liquid, which he began to apply to his balls. He began rubbing the liquid in vigorously, and after about a minute sat back content with his work. By the time this was over, my stop had come up and his balls had swollen to a considerably large size. I quickly exited the train, but not fast enough to hear the collective gasp from the train as they noticed what was present on their ride.

Stand clear of the floppy balls, please.

This has to be one of the greatest subway pictures/stories of all time. Dude just hangin with his cock and balls tucked over his waistband. Like hes permanently ready to take a piss at a urinal or something. Just rubbing magic liquid on his junk that makes his ball “grow 2 sizes that day.” Like the fucking Grinch except he’s just an old dirty man hangin brain on the train.

PS – According to the story the dude next to him was also sleeping. Otherwise, if that man was awake, and just sitting next to that guy with his balls bouncing around on the 5 train, he could have been the most insane person of all time. Either you realllllly don’t wanna give up your seat or you’re a straight up lunatic if you sit next to someone with their dick out.