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Wrestlemania 31 Is This Sunday - Here's Everything You Need To Know

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Editor’s note: Outrageous spacing/font sizes ahead. New website doing great!

 

Well it’s here once again, Wrestlemania. WWE’s biggest show of the year. This year it’s live from the West Coast, from the 49ers new stadium. Despite it being a down year in wrestling, the cream always rises to the top and Mania this year should be a hell of a show. I’ll catch you up on everything that you need to know.

 

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FATAL 4-WAY MATCH – WWE Tag Team Champions Tyson Kidd & Cesaro VS. The New Day, Los Matadores and The Usos 

Just like last year, the tag match is kicking off the show. Long gone are the days of the Dudley Boyz and Edge and Christian and the Hardys. Now the tag teams are just random guys thrown together and the fat Usos, who could not be worse if they tried. This match could have come cool spots in it, especially from Cesaro who is the most underutilized guy on the roster.

Nate’s Prediction – I say this sadly, but I think the Usos win. They have been at the top of the tag team division for quite some time, they probably get their “Wrestlemania Moment” on Sunday.

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RANDY ORTON VS. SETH ROLLINS

 

This is one of those Mania matches that could steal the show without you even realizing it. Orton puts on great matches when he wants to, and Rollins always puts on great matches, especially at PPVs. This should be a psychologically and physically great match.

Nate’s Prediction - I think Rollins winning here would be what’s best for business. It would solidify him as the top heel in the business, a place that Orton has held for the last decade. Also I think Rollins has to win because they want to leave speculation open that he cashes in his Money in the Bank contract later in the night. Him losing then cashing in doesn’t make sense to me.

 

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DIVAS TAG TEAM MATCH – AJ LEE & PAIGE VS. THE BELLA TWINS
Yawnnnnnnn. Honestly don’t care. Paige and AJ are good, the Bellas are awful. The girls down in NXT wipe the floor with them.

Nate’s Prediction - AJ turns on Paige setting up a feud, the Bellas win.

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UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH – RUSEV VS. JOHN CENA

 

It’s your classic big bad Russian who has never lost a match vs the American hero pretty boy who overcomes all obstacles. Cena’s character is simple- he doesn’t lose. That’s his entire character. He doesn’t quit, and never loses. Rusev’s character however has never lost a match. Also, would not be surprised if the crowd turns on Cena, as is tradition, and Rusev gets a bigger face-pop than Cena. You know, cause fuck you Cena.

Nate’s Prediction – This is the hardest match to predict of the night. On one hand, how many times can Cena overcome the odds and win the big match and kill all the build up? Like, could they really have built Rusev as unbeatable for a year only for Cena to beat him? What would have been the point? On the other hand, to answer that question, the point would be to put Cena back in the main event picture and have some sort of Reigns vs Cena feud. So I can see it going both ways. This pains me, but my prediction is Cena. Ugh. I hope I’m wrong.

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INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE LADDER MATCH – Bad News Barrett (c) vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Daniel Bryan

Here’s a match that should have 4 fewer people in it. This match could have been an all time classic had it been Ziggler vs Bryan vs Ambrose. Three guys who could be main eventing Mania but are stuck in the midcard for a multitude of reasons. But yet Barrett is the champion and they decided to put as many people in this match as possible. I love Stardust, but he shouldn’t be in this match. I love Harper, but they should have figured something else out for him. And R-Truth? Doesn’t deserve to be in a match with Daniel Bryan or Dean Ambrose. This match is still going to be awesome, but could be much better if it wasn’t so crowded.

Nate’s Prediction – Ambrose. I don’t like the idea of putting the IC title on Daniel Bryan just a year after he won the world championship at Mania. It’s just a slap in the face. We’ve seen him at the top of the mountain, what’s the point of giving him a lesser belt? Charity? I think Ambrose wins. He’s steadily building his way up. And he’s the right person to elevate the often-forgotten IC belt.

 

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ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL

So they moved this match to the kickoff show. Interesting decision, as most people usually enjoy battle royals. Last year’s was won by Cesaro, after he picked up the Big Show and threw him over the top rope. That should have rocketed Cesaro’s career to the moon, but shitty writing and the fact Vince hates him held him back.

Nate’s Prediction - This year Damien Mizdow is the favorite, but I don’t think he’s winning. I’m taking Ryback or a surprise NXT participate.

 

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THE UNDERTAKER VS. BRAY WYATT

Taker is back at Mania this year, after losing to Lesnar and taking his first Mania loss last year. That shit crossed over into the mainstream, as nobody expected that at all. Now he’s facing Bray Wyatt, who is the fucking man. Wyatt should be at the top of WWE for years to come, everything he does is incredible. And it makes sense that he is facing Taker, as his character is sort of like an updated version.

Nate’s Prediction – Kinda sucks, but Bray. Undertaker doesn’t care about winning, he’s a nice guy who cares about the company moving forward. He takes the loss vs Bray Wyatt who will then become the new “face of fear” in WWE. It all makes sense. Wyatt losing would ruin his character, him winning would escalate it perhaps more than anyone else wrestling at Mania on Sunday.

 

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STING VS. HHH

The last champion from WCW to never set food in a WWE ring vs the guy who brought down WCW. Nobody thought Sting would ever wrestle in WWE, but here we are, 10 years after the last ever WCW match, Sting is in the ring at Wrestlemania. Going one on one with HHH, the guy who tore down WCW and the shit on all of Sting’s friends. Actually a really great storyline (which isn’t even as much of a story as it is real life).

Nate’s Prediction – HHH. I think the ego in him makes him win. A lot of people say there would be no point of Sting coming back just to lose, but I say a shit ton of money would do that. My big dream is Shane McMahon comes back and screws over HHH, but that’s rather unrealistic. But you never know. He is a McMahon. They always step up. As for the match, hopefully Sting’s old ass can still wrestle.

 

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WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH – BROCK LESNAR VS. ROMAN REIGNS

And for your main event…..the most underwhelming main event in Wrestlemania history? A guy nobody wants to see there (Reigns) vs a guy who only wrestlers 8 times a year (Lesnar). A guy they want to be the next big thing in WWE but all he does is get booed (Reigns) vs a guy who everyone is supposed to hate but is so damn bad ass that a lot of people cheer him (Lesnar). For the last 6 months there’s never been a question that Reigns was winning this match, but now we know Lesnar has re-signed with WWE for 2 more years…so will they really pay him a shit ton of money not to be an unbeatable champ?

Nate’s Prediction – Lesnar. Reigns isn’t ready to be champ. Him losing will only help him. Yes, help him. The fans hate that he’s been pushed down our throats. He’s been elevated to the top but not many people feel he deserves it. And he sucks on the mic. Him losing will humble him, and show he’s not John Cena 2.0. Also, look for a screwy ending…whether it be Paul Heyman turning on Lesnar, Seth Rollins trying to cash in his Money in the Bank contract, or something we can’t even think of. The worst possible ending would be Reigns winning cleanly.

Well there you have it. You’re all caught up. The matches should be good, and a lot of surprises should take place. Wrestlemania only comes but once a year, so drink a few super cold barley pops and enjoy yourself.