The Home Run Derby Is Serious Business

Home Run Derby isn’t fun. You don’t go to watch Stanton hit balls out of the stadium. You go to Home Run Derby to win the game. This isn’t some exhibition. This isn’t the grapefruit league. This isn’t just glorified 5 hour batting practice. And that means bringing out your cartoon sized glove and holding no prisoners. To be the best, you have to…BUT WAIT!

Damn. Missed this at first. Superman requires no glove. pic.twitter.com/CHt2oSX7eA

— Phil Hecken (@PhilHecken) July 15, 2014

BOOM!

That’s your winner folks. That’s your MVP of tonight’s contest. That’s how you show up to the Derby. That guy can have his huge glove. A grown man who goes to Home Run Derby dressed up in a Superman costume needs no glove. But he will need every last condom in Minnesota if he doesn’t want to impregnate the entire city of Minneapolis tonight.