Remember The Guy in North Carolina Who Was Running Wild Through Walmarts Sucking On Toes? Of Course You Do. Well, He Got Caught.
h/t @stalepizza
HP - Police in North Carolina have arrested a man accused of sucking on a woman’s toes at a Wal-Mart after convincing her that he was a podiatry student. Authorities say Michael Anthony Brown was arrested Thursday night at his home in Concord. He was turned over to Lincolnton police. A Lincoln County magistrate set his bond at $50,000 on a charge of assault on a female. It’s wasn’t immediately known if Brown has an attorney. According to police, Brown is a registered sex offender. Detective Dennis Harris said the woman agreed to try on several pairs of shoes at the store in Lincolnton. Harris says at some point, the man stuck her foot in his mouth. Police say when the woman became upset, the man offered to pay for her groceries.
I don’t get why chicks are freaking out about this. This guy seems to have every quality girls claim they look for in a guy. For starters, he knows what he wants, and he’s driven to get after it. He loves feet. LOVES them. Does he let the fact he’s a registered sex offender get in the way of going after his goals? No way Jose. He’s just doing what RG3 reminds us to do every day on Twitter, catching his dreams. Albeit in his mouth. But still, he has the blinders on and is getting after it. Which brings us to his second quality. He has heart. Miles and miles of heart. He knew he was a wanted man, but that didn’t hold him back. He kept going. That shows focus. That shows he digs deep when the going gets tough. That shows he has heart. And third, he’s a gentleman. He thought the girl wanted her toes in his mouth. He was sure. He was positive he read all the signs correctly. We’ve all done that and ended up embarrassed we misread the girl’s signals. So after he was shut down, he still offered to pay for her groceries. And they say chivalry is dead? For sure not dead. Alive and well. So let’s all pump the brakes and just let him live. Sheesh.