Maybe LiveNation Should Go Buy Some Condoms Because We Should At Least Be Safe When They Try To Fuck Me

I support live comedy and seeing comedians that I like live and in person. It’s very underrated and I suggest you go do the same. You can go on a random night to your local Funny Bone and see 5-10 different comedians, most of whom are funny. So when I saw John Mulaney, he of a very, very bad television show but very, very good stand up routine was coming to town, I thought “hey, that’d be fun. I’d like to go see him do jokes.” So I clicked the link in his Tweet, went to the site, and this is what I saw:

 
Is that a fucking joke? $27.50 for a ticket. Reasonable. 14 dollars in “fees”? They aren’t even trying to pretend they aren’t raping you anymore. The fees are more than 50% of the ticket price. Unfathomable. And what can Mulaney do? Basically nothing. These fucking companies have such a stranglehold on live events that the performer is at their mercy. Only Louis CK that I know of has totally done away with using them and has figured out how to sell tickets for himself. I imagine that takes a lot of work and money, which most people don’t have like Louis has.

And the best part?
 

 

When tickets went on sale the site was down. $14 fees straight to LiveNation’s pocket on a $27.50 ticket and the site doesn’t even work. Good shit.

Good for them, I guess. Capitalism! I need to start my own ticket website if you can straight up rob people at gunpoint like this. People are going to go regardless, but it’s absurd. How do you start ticket companies? It’s a zillion dollar idea.