For The Record, I Am Not The Man In a Panda Onesie Holding Up The Fox 45 Station In Baltimore

Mirror - A man in a panda onesie claiming to have ‘a bomb strapped to his chest’ has forced a TV station to be evacuated, reports claim. A security guard at Fox 45 says a man walked into the offices in Baltimore, US, wearing a panda onesie claiming he had a bomb. A car was also apparently on fire outside of the station, but the blaze has been put out. The suspect reportedly gave a flash drive with video to staff, saying he has a message to get out, George Solis of WJZ tweeted.

Just have the clear the air and clear my name real quick. I have a lot of things going on today. New Blink-182 songs and Summer tour, Caps vs Pens game 1, worrying and having anxiety attacks about the lasers and knives that are going to scrape out my eyeballs in a few weeks. So no, I do not have time and I am not currently holding up the Fox 45 station in Baltimore while dressed as a panda. Not only is that not me, but I do not condone this man abusing the onesie. You wear onesies while racing tricycles with Travis Pastrana or competing in dog shows with Katie Nolan. You do not strap a bomb to your chest and storm the Fox studios like Normandy with one on, let me make that perfectly clear.

PS: The “Baltimore- the greatest city in America” bench outside the news station where a man dressed as a panda is threatening to blow it up is so perfect.

PS: Immediate edit/update: They just shot the guy live on TV or something. Apparently he’s dressed as a hedgehog, not a panda.