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Expert Analysis On Why The USA Lost Yesterday: They Didn't Have That Jizz In Them

 

Pretty easy analysis to make. It wasn’t because Michael Bradley has no touch, it wasn’t because Germany controlled the pace of the game from start to finish. It was because the USA played without jizz. First day stuff is to play full of jizz, and they were jizzless from the get go. There’s no way you can win the World Cup without being filled up to the brim with jizz.

So for their match for Belgium, look for the Americans to be sweating jizz up and down the field. Jizz here, there, everywhere. Jizzing their way to the final 8!

I bohlieve that we will jizz!

 

PS: Thanks to everyone who came out to Bracket Room yesterday. It was packed, and it was because of Stoolies.